Changes
by gizmo8us
Summary: Casey hits a road block on her way to law school. There be spoilers here folks. Through the last season finale. You have been warned. Previously titled little wonders.
1. Chapter 1

The night air blew through the trees leaving a cool chill in its wake. Casey Cartwright stood on the back porch of her family's home in Chicago and watched the leaves on the trees sway with the wind.

The peacefulness of her surroundings, however, did nothing to relieve the turmoil that coiled itself deep inside her and made sleeping an impossible feat. She glanced just inside the door to the table that held her cell phone and fought against the urge to run inside and grab it. She needed someone, not that that was anything new for her. She felt like she was always needing someone. How had she become such a mess ? How had all her plans fallen apart the way they had ? She still wasn't sure exactly what she was doing.

You're hiding, you idiot, she thought to herself.

And of course she was right. The great fearless, Casey Cartwright, the girl who always went after what she wanted, who never backed down from a fight, who never let fear dictate her course of action, was hiding like a scared little girl who had run home to her Mommy and Daddy the second things got hard for her.

She sighed scornfully at herself as the thoughts turned over in her head. But she hadn't seen any other solution to the problems at hand. Graduation had left her with nowhere else to go. And instead of celebrating and looking forward to her new adventure at George Washington University she was hiding in her parents house and trying to decide where she was supposed to go from here.

Everything had seemed so clear three weeks ago when she left Cyprus Rhodes University for the very last time. It had been hard for her. She hadn't wanted to leave, wasn't even sure if she was ready to move forward with her life, but she had done it anyway and she had done it with a sense, not that everything in her life was ending, but that everything was just beginning. She had graduated with a sense that her life was finally just starting.

She shifted, moving her hands protectively over her stomach as her mind conjured up an image of exactly what had changed everything for her.

The small, white plastic magical device that had informed her that her life was indeed going to change, just not the way she had thought it would. The tiny little window with the even tinier pink plus sign blaring at her with the unmistakable message that nothing would ever be the same for her again.

No one knew, and that was killing her, too. She wanted to call Ashleigh, her best friend and tell her everything. She wanted to break down on her brother, Rusty's shoulder and spill her guts out to him. But she didn't do any of those things. Because saying it out loud would mean it was real, it was true and she wasn't sure she was ready for the reality of it all.

How could she be ? She was alone, not only unmarried, but with no one prospect on the romantic horizon, and not in any kind of position to bring a child into the world. This was not a part of her plans, damn it ! And Casey was nothing without her plans.

She knew exactly who she should have been on the phone with. There was only one other person in the world that the news of her impending motherhood should be affecting, but there was no way she was going to call him. She couldn't, wouldn't ruin his life with this kind of news.

She hadn't seen or talked to Cappie since he left her standing on the boardwalk in Myrtle Beach. Three months had passed since then and a myriad of things had happened.

She had graduated from CRU, packed up her things and left Ohio, and everything it meant to her, behind her. She had moved back home, supposedly just for the summer, but now she wasn't sure how long it would actually last. Ashleigh had already started her new job in New York. Rebecca was preparing to run for president of ZBZ when the new semester began. Rusty had told her that Cappie was planning to return to school in the next year, true to his word, he wasn't leaving campus life yet. She had heard from Rebecca that Evan Chambers had gotten lucky enough to be accepted at CRU law school and she had to admit that she was more than a little jealous of that. After everything they had been through, everything he had done to her and people she cared about, how was it possible that he still got everything he wanted out of life ? Shouldn't there be some kind of penalty placed on people that hurt other people ? Shouldn't they be made to suffer as badly as they caused others to suffer ? She did have to admit that finding out about Rebecca cheating on him gave her a smug sense of justice. She didn't like that she reacted that way about the whole thing. It felt petty to her to be glad that he was being made to endure the exact same thing he had caused her to live through. She shouldn't be glad he was hurt by the whole thing. She shouldn't be happy about his pain, but she was and there was no amount of telling herself it was wrong that was going to change that.

Still he hadn't gotten everything he deserved. She couldn't help but think that if she had been the one to be accepted at CRU law, she would be standing here with a much different outlook on life and a necklace around her neck that read KTT in beautiful gold letters.

And it had been right there, almost in her hand, gleaming at her from a pretty black velvet box in Cappie's hand. A promise of almost everything she had ever wanted. A commitment he was making to her, to them. It would have been so easy to just take it from him.

Why was it so impossible for her to let herself be happy, even just for a minute ? Why did she have to over analyze and categorize everything in her life until there was no joy left for her ? Why couldn't she just relax and be okay with what she had instead of always wondering when the other shoe would drop, when it would all fall apart ?

She had always been obsessed with the future, too busy living there to really enjoy the present.

One day, she always told herself, one day I'll be all set up and I can start enjoying life.

One day seemed to keep getting further and further away.

She turned abruptly at the sound of a throat clearing behind her. She found her brother there, leaning against the door jamb that separated the living room from the kitchen watching her with a great deal of interest.

" I saw your bedroom door was opened and I figured I'd find you here." He told her as he removed himself from the wall and stepped closer to her. " Care to share whatever's been bothering you for the last week ?"

She shook her head in answer and turned back to the view of the backyard. It wasn't much to look at really but it was better than looking at him looking at her with such concern and pity.

" Case," He began coming closer still. " I know something is up and it's apparently something pretty monumental. Is it the break up with Cappie that has you so out of sorts lately ?"  
His voice was soft, full of concern and worry. She wanted nothing more than to tell him everything, to unload all her problems on him. But still she held back, afraid that the first thing he would do with the knowledge would be to run to his best friend and tell him everything.

That was something she couldn't let happen. But how long would she be able to hide it from Rusty ? Already she was noticing a tightness in her favorite pair of jeans.

" I don't want to talk about it." She answered, quietly, still not turning towards him.

" Will you at least tell me what it is you don't want to talk about ?" He asked, " Is it law school ? Is it Cappie ? Is it graduation ? Are you missing Ashleigh ? I know you have a lot going on. I just want to help."

Finally she turned around and found him standing right behind her.

Her eyes burned suddenly with an influx of tears as she realized it was all of that and more.

She just nodded her head yes at him without answering and before she knew how to react, he put his arms around her and hugged her tightly to him.

" I know all this is getting to you. I understand your entire life is changing. That can't be easy." He told her as he continued to hug her. " I wish I could help."

He sounded so sincere. It was her undoing. Before she knew it she was sobbing into his shoulder and clinging to him almost desperately.

She didn't know how long she stood like that, crying on her younger brother's shoulder while he smoothed her hair and kept telling her it was all going to be alright. But when she finally let him go and stepped out of his embrace, he was still eying her critically.

" There's something else going on. I can see it. Why won't you tell me what it is ?"

" I can't. Not yet."

" Case, come on. This is big. Whatever it is, surely you'll feel better if you talk about it." He urged her.

She just shook her head at him and fought down another round of tears.

" If you won't talk to me about it, call Ashleigh. I know no matter how busy she is, she'd want to be there for you." He suggested.

" That's one of the problems. She's always there for me. I'm so tired of feeling like I'm the needy one." She tried to explain. " I'm tired of being the one that can't handle things on her own."

" You aren't needy, Casey. It isn't like that. But sometimes we all have problems and it's easy to deal with them when you can talk about them. Ashleigh understands that. And maybe she's sitting there in New York wanting to talk to you, too. Maybe she needs you as much as you need her."

" I just feel like sometimes, my friends are always pulling me through one crisis after another and they don't get much from me in return."

" That isn't how it is. I don't feel like that and I know Ashleigh doesn't either. Call her. You'll be glad you did, I guarantee it."

Then he turned and left.

Casey squared her shoulders and came back into the house, shutting the sliding glass door behind her. She grabbed her phone before curling up in her favorite hunter green, over-stuffed chair and pushing Ashleigh's number.

It only took two rings for her best friend to answer.

" I'm so glad you called !" Ashleigh's voice gushed at her over the line. " I have so much to tell you and I've been worried about you. I haven't heard from you in a week. You promised we wouldn't lose touch like that."

" I've had a lot on my mind." Casey explained. " I've had some stuff I've been dealing with."

" Stuff ? Like what kind of stuff. Is it a hot new guy ? Or maybe a hot old guy ?"

" It's nothing like that, there is no new guy, young or old." She told her.

" Then what ? Are you mopping about law school ? I'm telling you for the hundredth time, law school will be great. You'll be fine."

" I'm not going to law school in the fall." Casey blurted out over her friend's hyper voice.

The line suddenly went quiet. Casey felt her stomach roll as the realization of the words she'd just said hit her full force. She wasn't going to law school in the fall. She had no idea what she was going to do with herself at the moment, in fact.

" Why aren't you going to law school, Casey. That's crazy." Ashleigh asked finally.

" Something came up." Casey answered after a moment of silence.

" What could possibly be more important than you getting your ass to George Washington University ?"

She tried to will the words out of her mouth, but something kept them from actually making their way past her lips. She was crying again and she could tell that Ashleigh could hear her tears through the phone.

" Casey, are you alright ? What's going on ?"

" I can't say it." Was all she could manage to get out.

" Of course you can. Just tell me. You know you can tell me anything." Ashleigh coaxed her gently.

" Not this. I can't say this." Casey sobbed helplessly.

" Okay then, I'll guess. You just tell me if I'm right, okay ?"

" Okay."

" Is it your family ? Are they alright ?" Ashleigh asked first off.

" Everyone's fine." Casey answered.

" Is it money ? Did something happen and now you can't afford to go to school ?" She tried again.

" No the money is there."

" Okay, then are you putting it off because you're afraid to do it ?"

" I am afraid to do it but that isn't it."

" This is ridiculous, Casey. Just tell me what it is. Now, I'm really worried. Is it you ? Is there something wrong with you ?"

" No, I'm fine."  
" Okay so it isn't money or health or fear keeping you from going. So it has to be something of a more personal nature. Is it Cappie ? Did something happen with Cappie ? Did you get back together ?"

" Something happen with Cappie. But no we aren't back together. I haven't talked to him since Myrtle Beach."

" Oh My God !" Ashleigh exclaimed in sudden understanding. " You can't be."

" Oh, I can be and I am." Casey confirmed, satisfied since she didn't have to actually admit it out loud yet.

" What are you going to do ?" Ashleigh wanted to know.

" No idea." Casey wailed into the phone.

" You have to talk to him. He has to know."

" NO !" Casey exclaimed. " He made it very clear the last time we talked that he isn't ready to leave CRU and he isn't ready to grow up. This is exactly what he doesn't want and I will not force him into something he isn't ready for."

" You didn't force him into anything. You both got into it together. You can't not tell him. Besides, no one asked you if you were ready to be forced into this."

" Ash, I can't tell him. I just can't. This has to be between us. I haven't told anyone else."

" Well, you'll have to tell people eventually. You know that right. There will come a point where you can't hide it any more." Ashleigh tried to reason with her.

Casey sighed heavily. " I know that. I'm not stupid. Of course I can't hide it forever. I just don't know how to tell anyone. I can't even make myself say it out loud."

" Of course you can. Just repeat after me – Pregnant."

" Preg-" was all Casey could mange before the tears took over again.

" You can do this Casey. Take a deep breath and say it – Pregnant."

" Pregnant !" She finally burst out a lot more loudly than she intended.

Then she heard something hit the floor in the kitchen.


	2. Chapter 2

Casey jumped from the chair and bound into the kitchen quickly. She turned the corner to find Rusty standing in the middle of the room with a quart of strawberry swirl ice cream on the floor at his feet. His mouth hung open as he stared at the doorway.

" Tell me you're talking about Ashleigh." He demanded.

" You were eavesdropping on my conversation." She countered angrily.

" I wasn't eavesdropping. You yelled. How could I not hear it ?" He scooped up the ice cream and tossed the container back into the freezer before slamming the door. " Is that what's been bothering you?"

She looked down at her feet instead of answering.

" Does he know ? Have you told him ?"

Her eyes jerked to his face quickly. " No, and you can't tell him either. This is just between us. You and Ashleigh are the only two people that know and it better stay that way, Russell Allen Cartwright. Or I swear I will kill you with my bare hands."

" Don't be crazy, Casey. You have to tell him. I don't care if you broke up or not, this involves him. He deserves to know." Rusty argued.

" I know that. And I will tell him, I'm almost sure of it. Just not yet."

" Almost sure of it ?"

Her hands went to her hips and she huffed irritatedly. " He made it very clear last time we talked that he wasn't ready to leave college yet. I'm not going to force all this on him. It will destroy his life."

The anger bleed from his face and he moved closer to her. " You aren't the only one responsible for this. He was there, too. He has to know. Not telling him would destroy his life."

" How do you figure that ?"

" If it was me, I'd want to know." He shrugged his shoulders at her.

" But Cappie isn't you. You aren't the same person. You are mature and responsible and you can deal with things like this. Cappie isn't like that." She tried to explain.

" First off, no one is really ready to deal with something like this. And secondly, I think you're underestimating him and third," He reached out and took her hand, covering it with his. " You aren't ready to deal with this by yourself."

She pulled her hand back and moved away from him. " Women do it all the time. How am I any different ? I could do this without him. I could totally do this on my own."

His eyes dropped to the floor and he hung his head sadly as he shook it. " Please don't do this to him, Casey. He needs to know."

" I didn't say I wasn't going to tell him for sure or not. I just need some time to think so I can figure out what I'm going to do." She tried to explain.

Rusty nodded solemnly before turning and starting to leave the room. Then he stopped at the doorway and turned back to her. " Maybe this is exactly what he needs right now." He told her quietly. " He's not doing very well at the moment. I know he's struggling with something and he won't talk to anyone about it. We've all tried to get him to tell us what's bothering him. We even had Wade call him but nothing worked. He's messed up, Case. I don't know if it's you or his parents getting a divorce or graduation. But I know something is really wrong with him."

She folded her arms over her chest and eyed him carefully. " Why is this the first I'm hearing about this?"

He sighed. " We thought that if it was you, the last thing that he needed was you knowing how badly he was dealing with everything. We were trying to give the guy his pride. No guy wants the girl that broke his heart to know that she broke his heart. Besides you aren't together anymore. He isn't your problem now."

She dropped her hands and let them rest on the counter in front of her. " Cappie will always be my problem." She thought about the comment after receiving an exasperated look from her brother. " That isn't what I meant. I mean I'll always love Cappie. If he's having a hard time, I want to be there for him."

" I don't understand." Rusty admitted stepping back over to the other side of the counter from her. " If you love each other so much, why can't you figure out a way to be together ? I know it won't be easy, being so far apart, but isn't it worth it to try at least."

She opened her mouth to try to explain but the words refuse to come. " We're just..." Her eyes searched the floor hoping to find the answers there. " too different." She concluded finally. " We want different things."

Rusty shrugged. " Maybe, but its obvious to everyone that the one thing you do have in common is that you love each other. That has to be something."

" Sometimes it just isn't enough." She returned his shrug.

Then she watched as he hung his head and left the room.

Casey sat curled in ball on the bathroom floor, her forehead resting against the cool porcelain that made up the side of the commode and tried to fight down the feeling of nausea that was consuming her.

_He should be here. _She thought to herself. _He should be right here beside me, holding my hair and telling me that it's gonna be okay._

She didn't want to do this alone. But she just couldn't bring herself to pick up the phone and call him. She had tried, several times, in fact. But each time, she returned the phone to her pocket without letting the call connect. She had no idea what to say to him, how to tell him what she needed to tell him.

She wished she could know for sure how he would react to the whole thing. She wasn't sure she could deal with his rejection emotionally. It already felt like she was on an unending roller coaster. Up one minute, down the next, a raving bitch in the next. She didn't know what she was feeling.

Well, she knew she was feeling her lunch churning in her stomach. She knew she couldn't eat anything without the burning pain of heartburn filling her chest.

But emotionally, she was a wreck. She cried constantly and that only served to piss her off, because she was NOT a crier. Then the anger turned on more tears because she hated herself for snapping at everyone all the time. It was an endless cycle. And one she had no idea how to control it. That was something else that drove her crazy. Casey Cartwright knew how to control everything. Now her own body and mind were betraying her.

She needed to talk to someone. She needed to untangle the mess that was going on in her brain.

Glancing at her watch, she gave a sigh of relief when she realized that if everything had gone according to plan, Ashleigh would be arriving any minute. She had taken a few days off work and hopped the first flight out of New York. She wanted to join Casey for her first doctor's appointment in the morning.

Convincing herself that the newest waves of nausea were over, she managed to get to her feet, albeit, a touch shakily. She splashed some water on her face quickly and wiped it with a towel before leaving the bathroom and heading for her bedroom.

Once inside, she shut the door tightly and flopped down in the center of her comfortable full size bed. Rusty had always complained about the bed. His being a twin, he always thought it wasn't fair that Casey got the 'big' bed. She stretched her arms out to the sides and stuck her tongue out at him in her imagination.

_It's because they like me more. _She teased him silently in her mind.

Her father had told her that once, right after she'd left for college, Rusty and his friends had tried to sneak into her room and steal the bed while their parents were out for the night. Unfortunately, all of Rusty's friends were like him and they either got distracted by the fact that they were in Casey's bedroom or were too weak to lift he mattress.

She laughed at the memory of the story and rolled onto her back. It wasn't long before her hands inadvertently landed on her stomach and all her problems came rolling back in on her.

A baby. She was going to have a baby. It was ludicrous. An impossible reality. She couldn't have a baby. She was going to law school. She was going to take on Capitol Hill. How the hell was she supposed to do that with a diaper bag on her shoulder ? She had officially fucked everything up. And she could even recall with perfect clarity exactly when it had happened.

_It was intense. The feelings churning inside her were more powerful than she had ever felt before. There was something different. Something strange in Cappie. Maybe it was the way he clutched at her almost desperately as if he were afraid she might disappear. Or maybe it was the needy hunger in his kiss as he devoured her mouth. But there was definitely something different. _

_They were laying in the middle of his bed, door locked, well after midnight. Nothing moved outside their door and it was a good thing, because as far as they were concerned nothing else existed. _

_They had been here before, so many times she had begun to lose count. It was comfortable here. A scenario that had played out so many times before she felt as if she belonged right where she was. _

_But still something in Cappie was off. His hand cupped her face, gently and she leaned her cheek into his palm, letting herself enjoy the burning, clamminess of his hand against her cool skin. His other hand was at her waist, fingers digging into the flesh right above the waistline of her jeans. Her hands were just as busy, one burned deeply into his thick, brown hair while the other gasped the unbuttoned side of his red, plaid shirt. _

_His lips finally left hers, giving her a chance to catch her breath as he let them fall to the column of her throat. " God," He murmured against her skin, sending a shock of vibrations all the way through her. _

" _What is it ?" She shuddered at the sensation._

_His head raised up and he caught her eyes with his. " I don't know really." He tried to explain. " I just feel..." he trailed off, his eyes roaming her face for a few moments before settling back on her eyes. "like there is no possible way I could love you more than I do right now." _

" _Cappie," She breathed, the word almost a sigh as it fell from her lips. " I love you, too." _

_He shook his head. " I don't think you understand." His brow furrowed in concentration as he tried once again to articulate his feelings. " My chest physically hurts when I look at you. There is so much inside it." He huffed and looked up towards the ceiling as if praying for divine inspiration. " That sounded so lame." _

" _No," She tried to reassure him. " I think I do understand." _

_He lowered his lips back to her neck and brushed them over her flesh. " I'm so glad to have you back in my life. I wish I could tell you how much." _

_She raised his head with a hand on either side of his head and found his eyes, locking her gaze with his, " Show me." _

It had been one of the best nights of her life. One of their best nights. But there had been no thoughts about consequences that night, no playing it safe. The future hadn't factored into her actions and she had let herself get as carried away as he already was.

She raised her head at the knock on her door and mumbled a hasty, " Come in."

Her mother, as prim and proper as she always was, with her tailored camel-colored slacks and dusty rose twin set, stuck her head inside the room and gave her a smile. " Are you not feeling well again, Casey ?"

Casey sat up and shook her head. " I'm just tired, Mom. I haven't been getting much sleep."

" Your friend is here." She told her, still with that plastic smile plastered to her face.

Casey perked up immediately and jumped from the bed. Ashleigh was just what she needed. Ashleigh would know what to do, how to help her.

She bound down the stairs two at a time and stopped at the bottom abruptly.

The world seemed to tilt on its axises, throwing her off balance in the process as she realized the face looking back at her from the foyer was definitely not Ashleigh's.

"


	3. Chapter 3

" What are you doing here ?" She asked as her feet hit the last stair and she folded her arms over her chest.

One broad shoulder came up as he gave a noncommittal shrug. " I was in the neighborhood." Evan Chambers said with a lopsided smile.

She sighed at him but smiled herself. " You were in the neighborhood of Chicago ?"

" My parents are visiting some old friends and I thought, wow, I should go along and see how Casey's doing while I'm there."

" That's really..." She searched for the right words. " weak, Evan."

" I know, but I really wanted to see you and I had no idea when I'd get another chance what with you leaving for law school."

She took his hand and lead him into the living room where they sat side by side on the overstuffed beige sofa. " What's going on ? Is it your parents, Rebecca or school ?" She could always tell when something big was bothering him.

He ran his hand through his hair nervously then turned to look at her. " Okay, here's the thing." He began. " I know I screwed up big time. I know I can never make up for that. But I'm hoping that by coming here I might get a second chance, or maybe a third one, hell I've lost count by now."

Casey put her hand out to stop him before he went any further. " Please don't do this, Evan. You're in love with Rebecca. You're good for each other. And we're good like this. Please don't say something that might ruin that."

His brow furrowed and he looked utterly confused before he figured out what she was talking about.

" No, I don't mean between us. This isn't about us. It's about Cappie."

It was her turn to look confused. " What about Cappie ?"

Evan sighed and ran his hand back through his hair again. " I have never been a huge fan of the Cappie and Casey love boat. I know that." He told her. " You know I was the one that talked him out of going after you during the end of the world party, even."

She nodded in response. It was something she still hadn't really forgiven him for.

" The thing is, he's hurting, Case. I don't know what happened between the two of you, but I can guess. I know this isn't any of my business. And I'm sure your brother's giving you constant updates."

Casey shook her head. " No, yesterday was the first time he mentioned anything about it, actually. How bad is it really ?"

Evan's eyes narrowed as if he were trying to soften the blow he was about to receive and it caused Casey's stomach to roll over. " He's either drunk or high all the time. I haven't seen so much as a moment of clarity or sobriety from him since we all came back from Myrtle Beach. Calvin says it's like that constantly. It was really him that brought the whole thing to my attention. I didn't know until he told me." Evan explained. " I think he was hoping I could find you and let you know what was happening. So here I am, delivering the message."

Casey sank back into the cushions and let the information sink into her brain. " I don't know what I can do to help him." She admitted finally.

" Talk to him." He suggested helpfully. " Work this out. If it's the distance thing, it's just ground between you and it isn't like its permanent. You can pull through this."

She shook her head again. " It's more complicated than that now." She answered.

" Than tell me and maybe we can think of some solution." He offered.

" No."

" Did he do something I don't know about ? Something you can't get over ? You love each other, really love each other, I can't imagine him purposefully trying to hurt you."

" It isn't about that. He didn't do anything." She told him quietly.

" Another guy then ?" He continued to push.

" No, there isn't anyone else, of course not."

" Then what ? You can talk to me. I promise I won't breath a word to another soul."

She got up from the couch and began to pace back and forth over the blue and burgundy colored paisley rug in front of the coffee table.

She could feel the tears welling in her eyes again and she so badly didn't want to cry in front of him.

He stood up as well, coming to stand in front of her and placing his hands on her shoulders to stop her movement. " Casey, tell me what's bothering you."

" I'm not going to law school in the fall. I'm differing for a year." She admitted.

His eyes showed his surprise. " Why would you do that ?"

" Because," she took a deep breath. " I'm pregnant."

Evan let go of her and physically staggered back to the sofa, plopping down on it bonelessly. " Are you sure ?" He asked after a few, long silent minutes.

She nodded in response, wrapping her arms back around her middle defensively.

" Wow." was all he managed for another minute. Then he finally looked up at her. " Does he know ? Have you told him ?"

She nodded negatively this time, still unable to actually form the words to answer him.

" But you're going to tell him, right ?"

" I thought I was, yeah, but now after hearing all this, I'm not so sure anymore." She told him, coming to sit beside him once again.

" Well, if it were me, I'd want to know."

She shrugged. " Yeah, all men say that, but is it really true ? Maybe he'd be better off not knowing."

" How could he be ? Of course he'd want to know." Evan argued.

" Really ? Because I keep thinking ahead ten years and there we are at our son's or daughter's tenth birthday party and Cappie is right there with us, but when he looks at us, is he thinking, ' I'm the luckiest man in the world.', or is he thinking, ' These two people robbed me of what was left of my childhood.' "

Evan's face softened and he smiled at her. " He'd be a fool not to think he was the luckiest man in the world."

" We're talking about Cappie here."

" We are also talking about a situation he's never been in before. He might surprise you. Neither of us has any way of knowing how he'll react." He tried to reason with her.

She rang his hands in her lap struggling with her decision. " Cappie has to grow up." She said finally. "But I realized while I was standing there watching him walking away from me on the boardwalk that he has to do that on his own. I can't force him into it. It would only make him resent me in the long run."

Evan turned to her and placed one of his hands carefully on her leg. " Case, he's twenty-two years old. It's time for him to accept some kind of responsibility for his life. He needs to know about this."

Casey dropped back against the cushions. " I just don't know what I'm going to do. Right now, telling him is out of the question. If he's really that far out of control, he can't handle this."

" And what exactly are you planning to do if you don't tell him ? Are you going to try to do this all alone ?"

" Urg ! I'm not the first woman to do this alone. I can do it." She insisted sitting up again and stiffening her back defiantly.

" Please stop. Before you even get started, Casey. Just stop right there. No one is saying you can't do this alone. No one is challenging your ability. Don't turn this into that."

" I don't know what you're talking about."

" You have never backed down on a dare in your life. I just don't want you to make this decision based on some misplaced sense of pride. I know you can do this on your own. The question needs to be is it the right thing to do." He stood up and started for the door before stopping and turning back to her. "You know what the right thing is. Don't talk yourself out of doing it. If you need anything, anything at all, you know to find me. I'm a phone call away."

Then he walked out and she heard the front door shut behind him a few moments later.

She got to her feet and tiredly climbed the stairs. Walking past her own room, despite the fact that her bed was screaming out to her, she went to the next door down and knocked on it softly.

It would be so easy, she thought, as she longingly looked at her own bedroom door. It would be so easy to go inside and hide until all this went away.

But this isn't going away and no amount of ignoring it is going to make that happen. Beside, she continued to try and rally herself silently, Cappie needs you. And no matter what had happened between them, he was still Cappie and she was still and there was no way she would ever be able to turn her back on him and just walk away.

" Who is it ?" Rusty's muffled voice sounded from the other side of the door.

" It's me, open up, I need to talk to you. It's important."

The door swung opened and he held it for her, shutting it quietly again once she was inside.

" Is everything okay ?" HE asked, walking around her and going back to plop down in the middle of his bed. His hair was messy and sticking out in all different directions. His overly large shirt sent a stab of regret through her as she spied the KT logo on the chest and she recognized it as Cappie's.

" Evan was just here." She announced coming to sit on the bed beside him.

" Evan ? What the hell was he doing here ?" Rusty sat up and propped his back against his oak headboard.

" Trying to make amends I think." She answered, moving up beside him and resting her head on his shoulder.

" What kind of amends ? I didn't know he'd done anything to you lately that he needed to make up for."

" He wasn't here for me. He came about Cappie. Why didn't you tell me how bad it really was ?"

He sighed and put his arm around her shoulder, sliding her closer to him. " Like I said, I was trying to give him some dignity. Thank you, Evan for making that a moot point." He answered sarcastically.

She batted at his shoulder. " Don't do that. Evan was trying to help him. That should count for something."

" Okay, well since it's all out in the open now." He leaned his head down and caught her eye in a serious gaze. " I'm worried about him. He's really off the deep end. I didn't want to come home at all this summer but you know Mom and Dad. Still, I'm planning on going back next week. Beaver says he's worse since everyone left for break."

" Beaver's still there with him ?" She asked, relieved that he wasn't all alone at least.

" Beaver and Heath." Rusty nodded. " They're kinda taking turns taking care of him. Apparently he doesn't do well when left alone."

" What does that mean ?" She asked, sitting up and turning to face him.

He put his hands out as if to brace her. " Now don't freak out." He started which just caused her to panic more. " I'm not supposed to tell anyone this. But last weekend he ran his jeep into a tree. He was drunk. Beaver found him. He wasn't hurt, and they managed to get him home before anything happened, but it could have been a lot worse."

" He was driving drunk ?" She asked, appalled that he would do something so careless.

Rusty just nodded in answer. " So see, I have to get back there and help them look after him. I can't let anything happen to him. He's my best friend."

Casey got up from the bed and started towards the door. " Get dressed." She called over her shoulder.

" Why ? Where are we going ?" Rusty asked, even as he got up to do as he was told.

" We're going to save Cappie from himself." She answered as she left the room.

" Tonight ?" Rusty called after her.

" Yes tonight. I'll let Mom and Dad know."

Then she went to her room to pack.


	4. Chapter 4

The steady, easy rhythm of the car's tires against the road and the darkness of the night lulled her into a false sense of peace and contentment. She had just closed her eyes and let her head fall back to the headrest behind her when the car's driver glanced in her direction and gave a small sigh.

" What exactly are we doing here, Case ?" Ashleigh asked with her eyes back on the road in front of her. " Why are we going back ?"

Casey blinked and shook her head to clear the fog of sleep that was threatening to overtake her. " We're going to save him, Ash." She answered simply.

" I understand that much. But what else ? Are you going to tell him about the baby ?"

" Not until I know he's okay."

Rusty leaned forward from his spot in the backseat to join their conversation. " But you are going to tell him ?"

Casey nodded. " I think so."

Ashleigh gave her a look meant to scare her and Rusty tsked at her from over her shoulder.

" Okay I know you both think I should tell him. Your opinions on the matter have been noted and filed. I get it. He should know. He deserves to know. But I'm still not sure he'd want to know."

She stretched out and adjusted herself in the crapped seat until she was comfortable. She was so grateful that Ashleigh had agreed to come with them. She had driven the first half of the distance, Ashleigh had insisted that she let her take the second half. It was easing up on five in the morning. They'd been driving all night and she knew now she never would have been able to stay awake for the entire drive. She would have either had to let Rusty drive (shiver), or pull over until morning.

" Have you thought about what you're going to say to him ?" Rusty asked quietly.

" Not really. I guess I'll just wing it." She shrugged.

" No one can get him to talk about what's bothering him. We've all tried."

" But none of you are me and he has never been able to resist me for long. I'll get him to talk. I'll find out what all this is about." She answered, sounding much more confident than she felt. She was pretty sure he had spent her last few months at Cyprus intentionally avoiding her. It was the only explanation for the fact that she hadn't so much as caught a glimpse of him since Spring Break. Usually, even when they weren't together they ran into each other, whether it was while in line for coffee or at Dobbler's or a party. Normally he turned up sooner or later. She wasn't really sure how to take that. She knew he was angry over their breakup and hurt, just like she was. But it wasn't like him to wall himself away so completely. Something about that felt so final to her, like he was making a great show of letting her know that this time, it was well and truly over between them.

Her hand went to her stomach on its own and she realized that now things were never, ever going to be truly over between them. Cappie would be in her life forever now whether she wanted it that way or not. There really wasn't a question in her mind about telling him. Of course she would tell him. The question now was when, not if.

She let her eyes fall to the front windshield and her breath caught as she saw the campus coming into view before them. They had made good time. Traffic was light and the weather was wonderful. The drive had only taken them nine hours instead of the normal ten. Some of that was due to Ashleigh's heavy foot on the gas pedal, the rest had been luck.

" Where to ?" Ash asked as they entered the campus.

" Go to the house." Rusty suggested. " That's where I'm staying."

" I called Rebecca before we left and she said she'd have a couple of rooms ready for us at the ZBZ house." Ash informed her right before the panic set in that she hadn't made any plans at all about where they were staying.

" Thank you." She nodded and gave her a grateful smile.

Ashleigh rolled her eyes. " I swear when we're old and gray I'm still going to be trailing after you carrying your heart medicine and blood pressure pills." She teased.

" But you always do such an awesome job of taking care of me." Casey replied with genuine appreciatation.

" I know." Her best friend beamed at her brightly.

They pulled the car up in front of the KT house and Rusty jumped out of the backseat. Then he went to the trunk and grabbed his bag from where it was stowed.

Casey glanced around the seemingly peaceful, albeit falling apart exterior of the house and her eyes paused on the corner window in the third story. He was probably right there, laying face down on his full size bed, sheets rumpled around his feet, chest bare, wearing only a pair of boxers. Her first instinct was to jump from the car, dash up the stairs and barge into his room. But she stifled it, not knowing whether he would really be alone in that bed.

" I'll go up and check on him. Stay right here. I'll be back." Rusty said, leaning his head into her window as he shouldered his heavy bag.

She watched him disappear inside the house and kept her eyes there until he reappeared a few minutes later with a look on his face that said everything was not nearly as peaceful as it seemed.

" He's not here." He announced as soon as he was within hearing range.

" Where is he ?" Ashleigh interjected.

Rusty snatched opened the backdoor and slid inside quickly.

" Student health center."

Both girls turned to him immediately for an explanation.

" They think its alcohol poisoning."

" Are you serious ?" Ashleigh asked, her eyes wide with shock.

" Beaver said he started shaking and his lips turned blue. Then he sort of passed and stopped breathing." He explained quietly.

Ashleigh turned back in her seat and started the car quickly.

" Yeah," Casey turned back as well and sighed heavily. " He certainly sounds ready to be a father."

" Don't do that, Case." Rusty told her with a hand on her shoulder. " Give him a chance."

" All I'm hearing lately is that Cappie is completely out of control. This just confirms it."

" Just talk to him before you make a decision like that."

Casey nodded in response but said nothing as her eyes drifted to the passenger window and she spotted a beat up old blue jeep parked at the back on the KT house. It's hood was crushed in and buckled as if from an impact with something solid. She remembered Rusty telling her about the incident with the tree and she averted her eyes from the proof of that story. It was too much for her to take in, the sight of Cappie's jeep mangled and broken with a tree shaped dent decorating the front of it.

" Drive faster." She mumbled and was surprised when the car began to speed up. She hadn't realized she'd said it out loud, but obviously Ashleigh heard her.

The smell of sickness and disinfectate permeated the air. It was so heavy the taste of it sat on Casey's tongue and she nearly gagged from it. Of course that was nothing new, just about everything made her gag recently, but smells were the worse. One unpleasant odor could send her tender stomach rolling instantly.

She fought off the urge to vomit and continued down the hall to the room number the lady at the front desk had given them. Normally he would have been sent to the local hospital, but since alcohol poisoning was a dangerously common occurance on a college campus the facilty was adapt at treating it.

She found the numbers she was looking for and paused outside the door, squaring her shoulders and taking a deep breath.

" Are you okay ?" Rusty asked from behind her. " Do you want me to go in with you ?"

She shook her head. " No, I've got this. Just give me a few minutes. I want to talk to him alone."

" We'll be right here if you need us." Ashleigh reassured her as she squeezed her hand for a moment before dropping it.

" Be nice." Rusty added as her hand came up to push the door opened.

Casey turned to face him and let her hand fall. " Be nice ?" She asked incrediulously. " I have no intention of being nice. His entire problem is people are always nice to him. Too nice. It's time for somebody take control here. He isn't a child and you're all doing more harm that good by being nice to him."

Rusty shrank back at her outburst but Casey realized she felt a little stronger because of it. She snatched hold of that anger and wrapped it around her as she entered the room.

He was laying on his side, an I.V. Running into his left hand and a tube wrapped around his nose delivering oxygen. The quiet beeping of a monitor that displayed all his vitals played throughout the room, it's steady beat indicating that his heart was beating as it should, now.

She came to his side silently and brushed a strand of hair from his brow, trying to find her anger once again as she looked down at him. All she could really find was pity and remorse. He looked so beaten, not physically. Physically he looked find, perhaps a touch pale, and there were dark circles under his eyes telling her that he hadn't been sleeping, but otherwise he looked fine. But there was something about his posture, even in sleep that looked so dejected, so worn that it made her chest hurt for him.

His eyes fluttered opened slowly as if he had felt her staring at him and he blinked sleepily as he tried to bring his hand up to his face. He stopped the movement when he felt the pull of the I.V. In his arm and shifted instead, turning from his side to his back slowly as if the motion was painful.

" Casey," He asked groggily. " What are you doing here ?"

" The better question would be, what are YOU doing here, Cap ? What the hell ?"

He forced a smile to his face as he struggled to sit up. " I guess we got a little carried away last night."

" A little carried away. Do you understand where you are ?" She spat angrily.

He huffed and used his free hand to brush the face from his eyes. " Yeah, I get it. I know. Now maybe you can tell me how this is any of your business."

She took a step back, struck by his words. " You're trying to kill yourself, of course that's my business, Cappie. You'll always be my business."

He shook his head and straightened his shoulders. " No, I'm not. We said everything there was to say to each other. It's done. You shouldn't be here."

" Yeah, well I am here and you'll just have to suck it up and deal with it." She returned having no problem finding that anger now. " I know exactly why you don't want me here."

" Why is that ?" He rolled his eyes dramatically.

" Because I'm one of the few people in your life that will tell you that you are behaving like a spoiled, irresponcible, idiotic child."

" Yeah, well that's what I am right ? An irresponicible child."

" I never said that. You're the one so determined to not grow up." She spat. " Maybe it's time to tell you that it's going to happen to you whether you like it or not. Life has a way of making it happen. Pretty soon this whole thing is going to start to look ridiculous." She paused dramatically. " Oh wait, I'm betting it started looking ridiculous already, right about the time your friends had to unwrap your vehicle from around the trunk of a tree."

He sighed heavily and muttered something under his breath that sounded suspiciously like her brother's name.

Casey crossed her arms over her chest and gave him her best withering glare. " He's worried about you. Don't you get it. Your friends are worried about you. I remember a time when they looked up to you. You were like a God in their eyes. Now all that's in their eyes is pity."

" So let me get this straight, you came half way across the country to what ? Yell at me ?" He countered though it was a lame attempt. She could tell by the look in her eyes that some of what she was saying was getting through.

" I came half way across the country because I care about you. I came because you need to listen to someone and none of those guys are going to tell you the truth. For God's sake, Cap, last weekend you crashed your jeep. This weekend you ended up here. What's on the agenda for next weekend ?"

" I'm flattered that you're taken such an interest in my activities but I don't need your help. I'm fine. It's fine." He told her.

She cast her eyes towards the bag of fluid hanging from a pole beside his bed and rolled her eyes. "Yeah, it looks fine."

" Okay," He conceded. " Maybe things are a little out of control, but it's nothing I can't handle. I've got this. I don't need you coming in to mother me. I have one of those."

Casey snorted and tightened her arms around her middle. " Yeah, I've met her."

" What is that supposed to mean ? Are you insulting my mother now, too ?"

" I'm just saying that perhaps if she had kicked your ass when you were younger, maybe you wouldn't be here now."

" At least she let me be who I am. I pity your kids having to live with a control freak like you." He shouted.

Casey staggered at his words, tears that she refused to let him see stung her eyes. She wanted to argue. She wanted to tell him that he was wrong. But no words came. Instead, she turned on her heel as quickly as she could and ran for the door.

She heard him calling her name as it swung shut behind her.


	5. Chapter 5

" Did you tell him ?" Ashleigh asked her the minute the door of Cappie's hospital room swung shut behind her.

She ignored her and batted at the tears she was hopeless to fight. " We're leaving. This was a bad idea." was all she said before bolting down the hall, not stopping until she was outside leaning against her car.

" What happened in there ?" Rusty demanded, a touch breathlessly as he came to stop in front of her.

" I don't think there's anything I can do to help him, Rust. He doesn't want to listen to me and I can't make him." She tried to explain, though the tears hadn't stopped and they blurred her vision.

Rusty reached for her, pulling her into him and wrapping her in his arms. " I'm sorry, Casey. I tried to warn you."

She sobbed into his shoulder. " He's just so angry and bitter and not Cappie."

He nodded. " I know."

" What are we going to do now ?" Ashleigh asked, coming to stand with them.

Rusty pulled away from her and opened her car door. " Go to your house. Get some sleep." He told them. " Let me talk to him."

" There seems to be a lot of people talking to him, but no one is getting through." Casey muttered.

" Oh !" Ashleigh exclaimed suddenly in her excited, 'I have an idea' voice. " Maybe we could do one of those intervention things."

" That's not a bad idea." Rusty agreed. " All the guys are worried about him. I know they'd do it." He shrugged. " It's not like we haven't done one before." Then he smiled whimsically. " There was this one time, we all got together for this intervention because Jeremy was eating all the toothpaste in the house. I mean we couldn't leave a tube anywhere without him finding it."

" That's just gross." Ashleigh commented before looking to Casey. " What do you think ?"

" I agree, that's just gross." She nodded.

" I meant about Cappie." Ashleigh huffed.

" It's not a bad plan. He'll hate us for it. But something needs to be done before this goes any further. You said Beaver and Heath are still at the house ?"

" Yeah, they've been taking care of him and Wade is in town, too. He's staying there trying to help."

She sighed heavily. " This is ridiculous. I could just choke him."

" When do you want to set this up ?" Rusty asked, getting into the backseat as everyone took their own places in the car.

" Today. He'll be home in a few hours. I want to be waiting for him when he gets there. He doesn't get a free pass for this one." She announced. " This time he's going to have to deal with his actions."

Rusty sputtered and laughed. " Oh my God, you sounded just like Mom just then."

She turned around to glare at him.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

The waiting was killing her. She had called the hospital and they informed her, 'his sister', that he'd be released around noon. It was edging up on two and there was still no sign of him. Beaver, Heath and Rusty had all tried to talk him into letting them pick him up but he'd refused all invitations and told them he'd be home when he got there.

They said he was snappy and mean to them when they talked to him. It just wasn't like Cappie. He wasn't snappy and mean to his friends. He was never short and quick tempered. Her concern grew as the seconds passed and there was still no sign of him.

" Where do you think he went ?" She asked a pacing Beaver when he came close enough to her.

He shrugged a large shoulder. " I have no idea."

" Where does he go when he's upset usually ?"

" Lunch buffet !" Beaver and Wade announced at the same time.

" Lunch buffet ?" She asked.

" Gentleman's club lunch buffet." Rusty answered.

Casey rose her eyebrows in surprise. That was something she hadn't known about him.

Rusty shook his head. " Not that one. The strip club, not the gay club."

" Beaver, take Rusty and Wade and go to the club. See if he's there. If he is, bring him back here, by any means necessary." She told them.

They nodded and started to leave. Then Wade stopped and gave her the eye. " Any means necessary ?"

" Yes," She nodded.

It was half an hour later before they returned. All of them looking bemused, but with no sign of Cappie in their midst.

" He wasn't there." Rusty told her. " We looked everywhere."

She huffed in frustration. Then another thought occurred to her. She grabbed her purse from the nearby chair and bolted towards the door. " I have an idea. I'll call if I find him."

She drove through the familiar streets, passing building she had passed so many times she'd lost count. It was a short drive, despite the fact that it was nearly across town from the campus. He had planned it that way. This was his spot. His place to go to get away from everyone and everything. The Light and Easy was his escape and she was nearly certain she'd find him there.

And she did. He was leaning against one of the pool tables in the backroom, beer in hand, though it was nearly full and he wasn't paying it much attention. But then he wasn't paying the table much attention either. Balls were scattered haphazardly over it's surface, waiting to be struck and slid into the pockets that surrounded them. He wasn't taking a shot, though he had a cue stick in his other hand. He was just standing, leaning, staring into his beer with a dejected, hopeless look on his face that caused her chest to convulse.

" I thought I might find you here." She said, coming into the backroom slowly, as if a suddenly movement might spook him and send him running. " We were worried when you didn't come home from the hospital."

He put his beer down and turned back to the table. Lining up a shot before stabbing at the ball with the stick. " I knew you'd be there. I didn't feel like doing this."

" So, you're avoiding me ?"

" Yeah," He answered without pausing. " I've gotten pretty good at it. I've been practicing."

" I've noticed." She muttered. " What I don't understand is why ?"

He straighten from the table and turned to her. " You know why."

" No, I don't. We've been through all this before and we didn't have to avoid each other to get through. What's different this time ?"

" Everything." He answered, before picking up his beer and taking a long pull from it.

" Please stop." She told him, coming close enough to put her hand over his and force him to lower the glass mug.

" I thought we just talked about the fact that you aren't my mother." He spat but there was very little anger left behind the words.

" And I thought I made it clear that I wasn't about to stand by and watch you drink yourself into an oblivion." She countered in the exact same exhausted tone.

He moved away from her and went to a table to set the beer down. He did it a touch harder than it deserved and it sloshed over the sides of the mug. Then he turned back to her sharply and narrowed his eyes. " Why are you here ?"

" I told you I'm worried about you." She answered.

" Shouldn't you be packing up, preparing for your wonderful new life that I wasn't invited to ?" He asked her and there was the anger again, right back where she'd left it, in his eyes.

" I'm not going to law school next year." She admitted after a few moments indecision. " I'm putting it off for a year."

His face shifted from angry to concerned in an instant and right around the edges she could see evidence of the old Cappie peaking through. " Why ? Did something happen ?"

" Yes, but nothing bad and nothing I want to talk about right now. Right now I want to know what is going on with you. This isn't like you, Cap. Everyone is worried."

He settled on the bar stool at the table and turned to look at her again. " Do you want a beer ?"

" No, and you shouldn't have one either. You just got out of the hospital for this." She came to the stool beside him and sat.

Their knees brushed as she shifted into a more comfortable position and he caught her eye with his for a moment. There was something, still something that passed between them every time they touched. Neither of them could deny it. It had never gone away, never disappeared. It was the same something that made it clear to her earlier in the year that she still loved him. The same something that caused him to walk her home on Thanksgiving and tell her he wanted to try again. The same something that had always been between them, no matter how much time they spent apart or how far away from each other they got.

His hand twitched where it sat on the table. It caught her attention and she thought for a moment he was going to cover her hand with it, but he didn't, opting instead for making a fist.

" Tell me why you're deferring for a year." He said finally.

" Tell me why you're being a self destructive asshole." She countered.

" It's not like that." He shook his head. " Things have just been a little out of control."

" And your friends are scared to take their eyes of you for a minute, i.e. self destructive asshole." She explained like he was too dense to understand.

He picked up his beer and chugged it quickly as if it held the answers he was searching for. Apparently it didn't because he sat it down with an echo ring and shook his head. " I can't do this here. Can we go somewhere ?"

" Anywhere." She told him, taking his head and leading him out of the smoky backroom and out to her car.

They ended up at the footbridge. It was a place they had frequented often during their time together. He liked to stand at the rail and lean over the side, looking out into the water that drifted lazily under his feet. That was exactly what he was doing when Casey came to stand beside him.

" So tell me." She urged as she nudged him with her shoulder.

He turned, putting his back against the railing and crossing his arms over his chest. " I don't know what's happening." He admitted. " I feel like everything is falling apart and there isn't anything I can do to stop it."

" What is everything ?" She asked for clarification. " Is it your parents, the house, school, what ?"

" All of it. Most of my friends are gone now. Even Beaver has managed to somehow amass the amount of credits needed to leave after next semester. My parents are getting a divorce and neither of them is very interested in settling down after its over. So really after school, I've got nowhere to go. I still have no idea what I want to do with the rest of my life. I don't even have a clue. I've been really thinking about this major thing and I've gotten nowhere." He paused as if the next part might be painful. " And I can't stop thinking about you and what a mistake I made when I left you standing there on that pier."

" Cap," She whispered into the darkness, too choked up by his words to say much more than that.

She moved to touch him and he almost flinched away from her before he let her slide her arms around his shoulders. Then his hands came reluctantly around her waist and she let herself sink into the feeling of him again.

" If this feels this good," He whispered into her hair, " Why can't we get the rest of it right?"

" I don't know." She told him, wrapping her arms tighter around him. " Maybe we could try it just one more time."

He hesitated before pulling away from her and walking to the other side of the footbridge, purposefully putting distance between them. " I can't just try this again, Case. Losing you over and over again is killing me."

" But what if it works this time ? What if you don't lose me again ?"

" I thought you were the one that said we weren't meant to be more than a college fling." He crossed his arms again and she recognized the gesture for it was, a defensive move.

" I was wrong. We aren't just a fling. We never were. We both know that. Whatever this is between us, it's always been there and it isn't going away." She pleaded with him and even she could hear the pathetic tone in her voice.

He shook his head and closed his eyes as if seeing her was too much for him to take. " I said last time that it was the last time. I said I'd never do this again. I told myself that if things didn't work out I wouldn't put myself through this again."  
" I said the same things to myself. But we were both wrong. We will never have a last time between us." She reasoned. " This will never be truly over."

He stood up quickly and squared his shoulders. " Yes, it is. I won't let this happen again. I have to go. Please don't follow me."

He turned and walked away, quickly disappearing into the underbrush that surrounded them and leaving her standing there helpless to do anything more than watch him go.


	6. Chapter 6

Cappie had no idea where he was heading. He just knew he had to get away, from her, from his friends and their concern, from everything. It was all too much for him to deal with. Something was wrong with him lately. He knew it. There were times when he just couldn't keep himself under control. His temper flared over the slightest little things. It wasn't like him. He wasn't this person. He didn't get angry over nothing. He didn't let things get so out of control that he couldn't handle it.

He kicked a tin can that was laying at the side of the sidewalk leading to the KT house. He hadn't even realized that was where he was going. But apparently his feet knew their way home without him even having to think about it.

How has he supposed to manage when the KT house was no longer his home ? Where was he supposed to go when all this was over ? It was quickly dawning on him that that was exactly what was happening. Everything he knew was coming to an end.

Lost. He had never felt lost before. It was an entirely new experience for him.

He walked up the steps leading to his home and pushed the door opened quietly. He didn't want them to know he was there. He wasn't ready to deal with them yet.

He didn't even bother to stop at the living room, choosing instead to trudge his way tiredly up the stairs.

He hadn't noticed the lack of noise coming from the rest of the house, but I did occurred to him when he reached his bedroom and found the door opened. He could make out the form of Beaver sitting on the foot of his bed and Heath was talking in hushed tones from somewhere else in the room.

It was an ambush. They were all laying in wait for him in, having invaded his sanctuary.

With a tired sigh he pulled himself towards the onslaught that he knew he couldn't escape from. Hell, maybe he even deserved it. They were his friends and they cared about him. Was it really too much for him to listen to what they had to say ?

Stepping into the room he glanced around and was surprised at the number of people tucked away inside. It wasn't just Heath and Beaver. No, Wade was there, sitting on the floor with his back against the bed. Ashleigh and Rebecca were there, too, though he had no idea why they would be. They were doing their best not to touch anything and looking completely out of place as they shuffled around in the corner by his closet. Dale and Rusty were at his desk along with Calvin Owens. And sitting at the head of the bed, his back straight and his eyes searching around the room restlessly was Tobias, his father.

A sudden thought occurred to him and he glanced around at all the people looking at him expectantly.

" Is this an intervention ?" He asked, taking a step towards the door.

He wasn't fast enough. He heard the door shut even as he collided with whoever was standing behind him.

" Let's not call this an intervention." Tobias said, sitting up and looking at Cappie with a gentle smile. "Let's call this people who care about you getting together to let you know how worried we all are."

" So, an intervention ?" He rolled his eyes. " This really isn't necessary, guys. I appreciate the effort but I'm good. You can all stop worrying about me."

" That's what Jeremy said the first time we tried this and the next day none of us had toothpaste to brush our teeth with." Rusty answered from his spot at the desk.

" This is ridiculous. You're all wasting your time. And who called my dad ?" He asked them, looking around at the guilt on almost everyone's face.

" I called him. April is on her way. She just couldn't get here in time for this." Casey's voice announced from behind him, referring to his mother. " Now sit down and shut up."

Dale got up and offered him his desk chair. Cappie sighed before flopping down into it. It rolled a little with his weight.

" Either you sit there peacefully and listen to what we all have to say, or we tie you to the chair, either way works for me." She had her 'mad face' on and her arms were crossed over her chest.

" You did all this." He muttered, knowing he was right. This had Casey written all over it and his anger towards her spiked dramatically. How dare she waltz in here and interfere with his life like this ? Who the hell did she think she was ? He just wanted her to go away and leave him alone. It was obvious they could never work together. Why couldn't she just leave it and get out of his life ?

His glare was supposed to make her squirm at least. It should have had some affect on her at any rate. But she didn't falter, instead she simply glared right back at him with her shoulders tense and her mouth set in a frown.

" You can be as pissed at me as you want. Someone had to do something before you killed yourself." She told him. " You aren't listening to us individually, so maybe we can get through collectively."

" We're just really worried about you, Cap." Beaver interjected.

His anger softened around the edges as his eyes found his best friend and he saw the truth behind his words.

" We all get drunk around here. This isn't a problem. Drinking is like a sport in this place." He tried to rationalize.

" It isn't a problem until someone gets hurt." Heath said.

" No one got hurt. I haven't hurt anyone." Cappie protested.

" That's not true." Dale told him from his spot on the floor next to Wade. " You've hurt me."

He shifted uncomfortably. This was going to be harder than he thought it would be. " How ? I haven't hurt you, Dale. I've barely seen you in months."

" Exactly." Dale answered. " I've barely heard from you in months and I had to find out what was going on with you from Rusty. I thought we were friends. We are Cap and Dale. But you don't talk to me anymore and you don't answer my calls. But then I guess you don't have much time for me since I don't really drink."

Dale's eyes fell to the floor and he stared at his shoes somberly.

Fuck ! He hadn't meant to ignore Dale. Cappie actually really liked the creepy, Jesus-loving, little geek.

" I'm sorry, Dale. I should have called you or come to see you, even. I've just been busy." He tried to explain.

" Busy doing what, Cap ? School's over until August. It's not like you have a job or a girlfriend."

Cappie winced at that and resisted the urge to let his gaze find Casey, though he could feel her eyes on him.

" Alright," He admitted, leaning forward and resting his elbows on his knees. He stared at his hands which were laced together in front of him. " I've been a little self involved and self indulgent lately."

" A little self involved ?" Rusty piped up from beside him. " Do you even realize that the only people left in the house at this point are you, Beaver and Heath ? Everyone else has left for the summer. You didn't even bother with the usual going away party at the end of the year. Some of the guys graduated and won't be back. You didn't even tell them goodbye."

That struck him right in the chest like a physical blow. Had he really neglected to even realize that everyone was gone ? He tried to remember who all had graduated this semester ? Who wouldn't be coming back in a couple of months. And several names and faces came to mind. Rusty was right he hadn't told them goodbye, hadn't really noticed they weren't around anymore.

" I guess I missed that one." He mumbled.

" Did you miss it when I left for the summer ?" Rusty demanded and suddenly Cappie could tell he was angry. Very angry. Despite his size, Rusty had enough of his sister in him to be very scary when he was upset. " I searched for you the day I left. I looked everywhere and finally found you passed out in a chair in the backyard. It was three in the afternoon. You were passed out drunk in the backyard at three o'clock in the afternoon, Cappie. Too wasted to bother waking up long enough to tell me goodbye. I was supposed to be gone for three months. You couldn't even give me three minutes of your time to tell me that mattered to you."

" I'm sorry, Spitter. Of course it mattered to me." He tried to apologize. It was clear that Dale wasn't the only one he'd hurt recently.

" I tried to talk them out of this." Wade spoke up. " I knew you'd hate it. But then I remembered the other day when Beav and Heath and I had to untangle you from your jeep. You could've gotten killed that night. You were lucky and you didn't even remember it the next day." He shifted.

" You're our leader." Beaver interjected. " You're supposed to be the one that saves us when things go wrong. You're supposed to be the one in that organizes the rescue parties. And you weren't there that night. We weren't even sure what to do at first. If Wade hadn't been here..." His voice trailed off and he looked like he was about to burst into tears.

He absolutely did not want to talk about that night. There was nothing he could say to justify driving. He certainly didn't have the words to apologize for what he put his friends through. He glanced around trying to find someone that might go easy on him. His eyes found Rebecca. She was standing with her arms crossed over her chest and it reminded him of how Casey was standing, but the look on her face was very different from the one he'd last seen Casey wearing.

" What about you ?" He asked her, trying to grab hold of someone in the room that might be on his side. " Why are you here ?"

She stalked forward as if it were a casting call and her name had been called. Stepping around the pile of people sitting on the floor, she came to stand right in front of him and he suddenly realized his mistake. He never should have called her out.

" What the fuck do you think you're doing, Cap ?" Her voice was seething with anger. " I'm here because I care about you, apparently a lot more than you care about yourself."

" Come on, Becks, you know how things can get out of control sometimes." He gave her a weak smile as if his explanation excused everything.

He was suddenly reeling backwards as her hand came out and struck the side of his face. It wasn't as hard as she was capable of slapping, he knew that from experience, but it was a slap all the same.

Casey was immediately beside her grabbing hold on her hand and bringing it down to her side.

" Rebecca !" She chided.

" What ? It isn't like he doesn't deserve it." Rebecca hissed at her. " He's allowed to do whatever he wants to himself. Shouldn't we be allowed to get our licks in, too ?"

" This isn't why we're here." Casey explained.

" Oh, come on." Rebecca wrenched her hand away from the older girl, and Casey let her. But she still remained posed to grab her if she decided to try again. " Tell me you don't want to do the same thing after sitting here listening to his pathetic excuses."

" I'm not saying I don't. I'm saying this isn't helping."

" I'm sitting right here !" Cappie exclaimed. " Will you please stop discussing me like I'm not right in front of you ?"

" Ah," Rebecca turned her cold eyes on him and he really wished suddenly that he hadn't spoken at all. "Does the little baby need some attention ?" She mocked. " I'll give you some. You have changed, Cappie. When I first met you, you were kinda icky. But it was a good kind of icky. I loved how you just lived for the moment. You didn't get all caught up in worrying about the future and what was going to happen the next day. But there was more to you than all that. I found that out while we were dating. You were funny and charming and loyal and caring. I got to know who you really are in those months that we were together and it killed me when I realized what a great guy you were, because I knew you were already taken and always would be. I felt like I'd lost you to her and I really hated that, because you were the kind of guy I could fall for." She planted her hands on her hips and narrowed her eyes even more. " Whatever this is you've become, she can have you. I'm just sorry to see that that guy I really liked doesn't exist anymore." Her voice turned even colder, if that was possible and she smirked in that hurtful way she had that said what she was about to say next was going to cut to the bone. He braced himself for impact, not sure he wanted to hear anything else she had to say. " At least I can thank you for not making a liar out of me." She shrugged coolly. " The last time I said it, I was saying what I knew would hurt you. But now it's just the truth. Now you really are beneath me."

Then she turned and walked out of the room without a backwards glance.

Cappie sat there watching her walk away, too stung by her words to even remember there was a roomful of people witnessing the whole episode. He wanted to crawl under the chair he was sitting. At that moment, for the first time in a really long time, he was ashamed of himself. Actually truly ashamed of himself.

" Rebecca may have been a little harsh and too brutally honest." Ashleigh said, stepping over everyone to get to him as well. " But she wasn't wrong. You aren't the same person I've always known." She sighed and looked at him with disappointment on her face. " I always thought there was more to you than what you show the world. You were a great leader. These guys would have followed you over a cliff if it was what you wanted. Now they're all too busy taking care of you to follow you anywhere. That's just sad."

Then she walked out as well, calling out to Rebecca as soon as she got to the hall.

" Alright !" He shouted, getting to his feet. " I get it. You're all disappointed and I suck. I understand. Now will you all please just get out."

" I think we've made our point." Casey told the remaining crowd. " Just give him some space."

They both stood there, side by side as everyone filed out of the room. Calvin patted his shoulder as he walked past. Dale lunged for him and hugged him so tightly he couldn't breath before leaving. Rusty refused to even look at him on his way to the door. Heath, Beaver and Wade each gave him a pat on the back. His father grabbed him and hugged him almost as tightly as Dale had. Then he hugged Casey as well. He winced at the look of worry on his face as he left the room.

Casey wasn't budging. She was the one he wanted gone more than the rest of them, and yet she was the one that remained.

" I'm a douche. I get it. Why are you still here ?" He asked after the last person had filed out and she was still standing her ground.

" I haven't hadn't had my say yet." She told him, lifting her chin in what was supposed to be defiance, he imagined. All he could see was stubbornness.

She had done this. She had gotten all his friends together to make him feel like shit. This was her fault. Hell, it was her fault he started drinking so much to begin with. It wasn't all her, but she had set it all in motion. And now here she was staring him down like she was completely innocent in all this and the disappointment and pity in her eyes was more than he could take.  
" Get out of here, Casey. I have nothing to say to you." He ground out between gritted teeth.

" Do you know why I'm really here ?" She began and really he couldn't care less anymore. He just wanted her gone.

" Does it really matter ? You got what you want. Everyone thinks I'm an asshole and you're the best thing since the wonder bra because you stepped in and saved the day." He erupted, with his hands in tightly closed fists because he really just wanted to grab her and throw her out.

" I'm here because Evan came to see me." She went on as if he hadn't said a word and that unnerved him even more. How dare she just ignore him ! Wait, Chambers ? What the hell did Chambers have to do with any of this ?

" He came to tell me what was going on with you, hoping I could help you before you did any permanent damage. Rusty filled in the rest. But it was Evan that let me know I was needed to begin with." She explained. " I wanted you to know that. He did it because he cares about you, too."

Cappie stalked to the opposite side of the room and began to pace because the anger was becoming to much for him and he had to do something, move somehow before he broke something.

" This has to stop, Cappie."

" I got that already." He spat. " You made sure to drive that point home."

" I didn't do this to hurt you, you idiot." She nearly shouted at him.

" Really, you've turned my friends against me. You called my ex girlfriend over to take a shot at me. You even broke the cardinal rule and called my parents. What exactly were your intentions here ?"

" I didn't turn your friends against you. They aren't against you. They're worried." She said through her own gritted teeth. " And Rebecca was here because she's scared you're really going to hurt yourself. That's how she deals when she's terrified. She lashes out. And yeah, I brought your parents into this. I thought after I saw you yesterday with tubes coming out of you in a HOSPITAL bed, that they deserved to know what was happening with you."

" Don't you think I worked it out all on my own yesterday when I woke up in that hospital bed that things needed to change ? Maybe you should have given me a little credit." He spat. " I know I fucked up and I plan to fix it. This wasn't necessary. I didn't need you butting in and saving me."

" You lost any credit you might have had with me the day you wrapped your jeep around a tree !" She yelled.  
" Why do you keep bringing that up ? It was one night. Let it go. You know I never drink and drive." He yelled back, taking a step closer to her.

" I keep bringing it up because that night you stop just playing with your own life and you put other people, innocent people at risk as well. What if that hadn't been a tree you hit ? What if that had been another car ? A car with a family in it. A car with children in it. You could have destroyed someone's life, for what ? Where did you need to go so urgently that it couldn't wait until morning ? Where were you heading when you found that tree ?"

He felt a rash of tears sting his eyes as he realized she was right. He could have killed someone that night. He remembered exactly where he was going when he left the house that night. He remembered it perfectly. He had been so tired of it all. He had just wanted it all to stop.

" Chicago." He muttered quietly. " I was heading for Chicago."

" What ?" She demanded. " What are you saying ?"

" I needed to talk to you. I tried to call but no one answered the phone. I wasn't exactly thinking very clearly. I mean, obviously since I had less than a quarter tank of gas and twenty bucks in my pocket. But none of that mattered. All I knew was that I had to get to you."

" Why ?" She asked, suddenly no longer angry. Which was good because all his own anger seemed to have seeped out of him with his confession. It was like someone had stuck him with a pin and deflated him.

He went to the bed and slumped down tiredly. " I was pretty messed up after Myrtle Beach." He said, after a moment of not knowing where to start. " I didn't want you to know it. You seemed to be doing just fine. I felt like an idiot for not being able to get over you as easily as you seemed to be getting over me."

She came to sit beside him and he thought she was going to touch him but she tucked one leg under her, turning to face him and folded her hands in her lap instead. " It wasn't as easy as I made it seem." She told him.

" It just killed me, you know. It was like you were there, everywhere I went. If you weren't actually there, your ghost was, haunting me every time I turned around." He blinked rapidly, not wanting to cry in front of her, not wanting to let her see how bad off he really was.

" Cappie." She whispered, then she did reach out and touch him, letting her hand fall to his leg.

" That night I just wanted to get some sleep. I tried drinking myself into oblivion but it didn't work like it usually did. Every time I closed my eyes you were there. Heath and I had been talking about my parent's divorce earlier that day. His parents are divorced and he said that once all the papers were signed and everything was over and done with, they all got together and took one last chance to say everything they needed to say to each other. He said it was about getting closure for everyone, making it so they could all put it behind them and move on. I decided that that was what I needed. I needed to talk to you one last time to get you out of my head. To get some closure. So I took off to find you."

" Please don't tell me this." He looked up to see that she was crying now, rivers of tears were streaming down her face. She quickly batted at them and sniffled. " Please don't tell me that all this is because of me."

" Not entirely." He tried to reassure her. But he knew it was a useless attempt. The main reason he had spent the last three months on an endless quest to keep from being sober was her. He couldn't handle losing her again. It was just like he knew it would be. Not having her beside him was killing him and the liquor was the only thing that seemed to do anything to numb the pain of it all.

He got up from the bed, dislodging her hand and went to the desk. It was all too much for him. Having her so close, all he had been through in the twenty four hours, it was more than he could handle. Jerking open the bottom drawer, he pulled out the emergency bottle of whiskey and yanked the top off of it.  
" You've got to be kidding me." She exclaimed, jumping from the bed and taking the bottle from him before it reached his lips. " I thought we finally got through to you. I thought you finally understood."

" I'm not planning on getting drunk. I just need a little sip to take the edge off." He tried to explain as he reached for the bottle which she held out of his grasp.

" Take the edge off ? Are you listening to yourself ?" She shouted in his face.

" I can hear just fine. Now give me that bottle." He retorted trying to move around her to get to the bottle.

" Really. Because what I hear is an alcoholic. Do you really get that ?" She demanded, holding firm to the whiskey.

He stopped and looked at her for a minute, trying to gauge how serious she was. Did she really think that was what he was ? Did she really believe that ? " Seriously ?" He asked after not finding the answer he wanted in her face. She looked dead serious. She looked terrified as well.

She didn't answer, instead she whirled around and went to the table that sat by his door. She was reaching into her purse and she pulled out a stack of brochure shaped papers.

Finding the one she was looking for, she opened it up and began to read it to him. " Neglect of other activities. Well, I'd say forgetting that members of your house were leaving and not even bothering to tell them goodbye qualifies as neglect. Excessive use." She paused and looked at him. " When was the last time you can remember a day when you didn't have a drink ?"

He blinked at her in surprise. She really was serious. He opened his mouth to tell her that he went all the time without having a drink. But he stopped when he realized it wasn't true. Honestly he couldn't remember the last time he went an entire day without at least a couple of beers. Then suddenly he did remember. " Myrtle Beach. The day we got there."  
" That was three and a half months ago, Cappie. Are you telling me that you have been drinking pretty much non stop for three and a half months ?" She asked him, determined to make him tell her the truth.

He shrugged. " I guess so, yeah." He admitted as he shuffled his feet.

" Persistent use." She went back to reading her damned pamphlet. " Let me think, you crashed your jeep while you were drinking one weekend and despite that fact, the very next weekend you drank yourself into the student health center. Yeah," She nodded. " that seems fairly persistent to me."

He rolled his eyes, not wanting to listen to what she was saying anymore, mostly because it was starting to sound like she might be right. " Tolerance." She continued on, ignoring his growing discomfort. " How many beers does it take to get you drunk now ?"

" A few. No more than it used to though." He lied. He could easily down a six pack without missing a beat. In fact the reason for the whiskey stash was that the beer just wasn't working any more.

She looked at the bottle in her hand then back to him. " I've always considered you a really gifted liar. You used to be so good at it even I couldn't tell when it was bullshit you were spitting out."

" Casey, I'm not an alcoholic. This is ridiculous. I got a little out of control. I get that now. I can handle this." He told her easing closer and trying his hardest not to fixate on the bottle she was holding in her hand.

" How many more of these do you have stash around this room ?" She wanted to know and he paused and gave his surroundings a quick glance. He knew exactly where each bottle was located. And he felt something in his stomach drop when he realized exactly how many there were. " That's the only one." He lied again.

" If you're so convinced you don't have a problem, why are you lying about it ?" She asked, setting the bottle down on the table beside her and taking a step closer to him. " You've gotten five out of six. Are you ready for the last one ?" She asked him with narrowed eyes and her hands back on her hips.

" Fine, what ?" He huffed.

" Hold out your hand." She told him, sharply.

" What ?" He asked, not understanding.

" You said you've only had the one beer today and that was hours ago. So hold out your hand." She explained.

" I'm not playing this game anymore. I'm not an alcoholic. This is stupid. I'd know if I really had a problem and I don't." He exclaimed, still trying his best to keep his eyes on her and not on the table behind her.

" What are you afraid of then ? If you don't have a problem. If you aren't an alcoholic, show me."

The anger was back out of nowhere. His eyes flashed with it and stalked towards her. She falter for a moment, losing the knowing look on her face and replacing it with something that looked almost like fear. But she stood her ground even as he growled and advanced on her. He wondered if she even realized it wasn't her he was trying to get to. She was simply in his way.

It was her fault really. She was the one that stepped in front of him. She was the one that moved into his path. When he pushed her, he hadn't meant for her to stumble. Maybe he had used a little too much force to get her out of his way. But still it was her fault for being in his way to begin with.

He tried to pretend he didn't notice his hand was shaking nearly uncontrollably as he reached for the bottle. He tried to tell himself it was the anger that was making him so shaky. It had to be. The alternative was too much for him to take. He didn't have a problem. He couldn't have. It was the most ludicrous thing in the world. He wasn't an alcoholic.

Then he turned with the bottle pressed to his lips and the sweet heat of the liquor hitting his throat and saw her. She was on the floor and his mind couldn't figure out why she was down there with tears running down her face again and a look like someone close to her had just died. Why was she crying ? Weren't they done talking about the crying things ? They hadn't even been talking about them, or the breakup or anything like that.

His eyes shifted over her as he brought the bottle down and they paused on the golden skin of her bare upper arm. He squinted to try to focus his vision there. If he didn't know better, he could swear she had a tattoo. When did she get a tattoo ? And why would she get one shaped like fingers ? He took a step closer as she slowly got to her feet. Then he took another step as something horrible begin to seep into the edges of his mind. It wasn't a tattoo. It was a bright red hand print. He felt the bottle of whiskey slip from his grasp as he raised his hand out towards her. It was shaking and he wasn't bothering to hide that fact from her any longer. One more step and his hand was covering the hand print on her skin and it fit perfectly and the room started to tilt a little, then it started to spin.

" Oh God." He gasped in horror as he realized he had just pushed her to the floor to get her out of his way so he could get to his booze. " Maybe I do have a problem."


	7. Chapter 7

Casey watched as Cappie sank down onto the foot of his bed with his shoulders slumped and a clearly defeated look etched across his handsome face.

" I'm sorry." He muttered as if he had no idea what else he could say. She couldn't help but notice that his eyes were glued to the broken bottle of whiskey he'd dropped moments before.

A knocking at the door caused her to turn from him sharply and she was grateful for the distraction. She didn't know what to say either and the silence between them was growing heavy and cumbersome.

" What ?" She asked as she stepped to the door and jerked it open a crack.

" I heard a crash. Is everything okay ?" Her younger brother asked, trying to peak around her to inspect for himself.

" Everything is fine, Russ. Just give us a minute. It's alright. I have this under control." She tried to

reassure him. " Just see if you can find a broom and dustpan around here somewhere."

He gave a little half-hearted chuckle as if the notion was ludicrous. " Around here ? You're serious, right ?"

" Try the pantry in the kitchen." Cappie called from behind her and she turned to glance at him. He was still sitting right where he had been, but apparently he wasn't as dazed as he seemed to be.

" Are you sure everything's alright ?" Rusty asked, again. The worry and concern were evident on his face.

" It's fine. I'm fine. He's fine. We're all good here. Just get the broom."

Then she shut the door, cutting off anymore argument from him.

Turning slowly on her heel, she brought her attention back to the man that at one time had meant everything to her. If she was honest with herself, and she rarely was, he still meant that much to her. He just wasn't supposed to anymore.

" What happens now ?" His voice cracked as if his throat had gone completely dry.

She came to him hesitantly and sat at his side. Her hand went behind him and she rested it on the mattress there, wanting so badly to wrap it around his shoulder, but not sure how he would take the gesture. He looked so lost and terrified and still his gaze was attached to the damn bottle on the floor.

" Look at me." She told him, but he ignored her and continued to stare. Finally she sat up and grabbed his chin, jerking his eyes away from the source of his problem and putting them on her instead. " You know there is a problem now. That's the first step." She told him, keeping her voice soft, yet firm.

" Okay, what's the next step ?" He asked. He was searching her face as if he could find all the answers he needed there. But it was impossible. She didn't have all the answers for him. She was going strictly on instinct and she just prayed that her gut wasn't wrong.

" Next," She sighed heavily. " You have to stop."

" Stop ?" He asked, " Stop what ?"

" Drinking, Cap. You have to quit drinking." She answered resisting the urge to roll her eyes at him.

He blanched and paled, turning is attention back to the bottle on the floor. " Can't I just slow down ? Do I really have to stop completely ?"

She did roll her eyes this time. " Can you ? Be honest with yourself. Is it even possible for you to just slow down at this point ?"

He was quiet for a long while, just sitting there staring at the puddle of whiskey amassing on his hardwood floor. " No, I guess not."

" So ?" She prompted wanting to hear him say it himself, needing to know that he understood how important this whole thing really was.

" I have to quit drinking." He nodded, tearing his eyes from the floor and clenching them shut as he took a long, slow, deep breath and let it out in a rush. " I'm just not sure I know how."

" I'm here." She said, no longer caring if he liked it or not, she put her arm around him and pulled him towards her. " I'll be right here. I'll help."

He tensed at first, not comfortable with the contact between them, but then something in him broke and he sagged into her finally.

" Why would you do this ? I'm not your problem anymore." He asked, looking up at her without moving his head from her chest.

" You were never a problem, Cap. And I'm doing this because I care about you. Besides, it's not like I have anything better to do at the moment, or anywhere I need to be more." She smiled, a tight, tense smile.

" Law school." He said sitting up straight and pulling out of her arms. " You should be getting ready to start law school. Why aren't you ?"

" I told you earlier. I'm deferring for a year."

" Yeah, I heard that part. Now tell me why ?" He demanded, coming to his feet. " Tell me it isn't because of me. Because if it is, you can't just leave now. I won't be the reason you aren't going to school."

She shifted and dropped her eyes to the floor. She didn't want to lie to him. He was at least partly responsible for her not going to law school. But the alcohol had nothing to do with it. So she paused, choosing her words carefully. " Your drinking has nothing to do with why I'm not going. It's a decision I made that has nothing to do with this. In fact, I'd already decided before Evan came to see me."

He came to stand in front of her and looked down at her with a knowing gaze. " You know better than that. I may be going through something here, but you can't lie to me. You never could. There's more. What aren't you telling me ?"

She glanced up at his face, then back down at her hands which were now folded in her lap. It wasn't the right time to tell him about the baby. She wanted him to get sober and healthy for him. And finding out about the baby now would just put more pressure on him. It had to wait. She had to wait. " We can't get into it right now. We need to concentrate on getting you better. Then we can deal with all the rest." She answered evasively.

" What rest ? What is there to deal with ? Come on, Casey. If this has something to do with me, tell me now. I want to know." He insisted, coming to sit beside her.

" Let's just get through the next few days. Then we can talk about it." She tried again.

" The next few days ? You're going to stay here for the next few days ?" He asked, raising his eyebrows at her.

" I'm not leaving your side until I know you're okay." She answered.

" That's ridiculous." He shook his head. " I'll be fine. I'm not going to drink. That's all there is to it."

" Then you won't need me and that's a good thing. But I'll be right here, just in case." Her tone was firm, letting him know that arguing with her would do no good.

He huffed and stood up again. Then he started to pace restlessly. " I don't need a babysitter. I can do this. It's not a big deal."

She hadn't meant to do it. She knew he felt bad enough about the earlier incident without her drawing attention to it. Still, her eyes went to her arm. The mark was gone where his hand had been when he pushed her to the floor, but she could have sworn she still felt it.

He saw her. He noticed where her eyes went and instantly stilled in his pacing. " See. That's all the more reason for you to get away from me." He told her.

" I'm not leaving. And no it's all the more reason for you to take this seriously." She said quietly.

A knock on the door interrupted whatever argument he was about to use and she got up to answer it.

" I finally found one." Rusty told her, thrusting a well worn broom and a dustpan at her. " Have you told him ?"

" Told me what ?" Cappie demanded from over her shoulder.

" Nothing." Casey muttered in his direction as she narrowed her eyes at her brother.

" I'm sorry. I'll leave you alone. Are you sure you don't need anything ?" He mumbled and looked truly apologetic.

" Not at the moment." Then she thought about that and changed her mind. " Oh, wait. A trash bag."

" A trash bag ?" He quirked up his brow. " Why are you going on a cleaning spree now ?"

" You could say that. Just bring me one, please. And maybe some dinner in a little while. We are having a shut in."

He sighed and started to turn away. Then stopped and turned back to her. " Are you sure this is a good idea ? Are you up for going through a detox right now ?"

" I am. I know what I'm doing and I'm going to be here until this is over." She nodded her head in affirmation.

" A detox ?" Cappie asked after she'd shut the door. " I hardly think that's necessary. I'll be fine."

" So you keep saying, but all the evidence points in the other direction." She told him, placing her hands on her hips.

" I think you're making more of this than there is. I said I'll quit and I will. This doesn't have to be so dramatic." He said, pacing again.

" Cappie, why wouldn't you show me your hand ?"

" I don't see what that has to do with this." was his answer.

" Is there some reason you can't just sit down and be still ?"

He stopped then and ripped his hand through his hair in what she imagined had to be a painful move. "I think you should go." He said, in a low, dangerous voice.

" Don't even try it. You aren't going to intimidate me. It's not worth your effort." She stuck her chin out defiantly. " Now tell me where everything is."

He rolled his eyes. " I think you've already had the tour. There's the bed." He gestured towards the center of the room. Then beside him, " This is the closet. " Over there is the window. That's the chest next to it and on it's left is the desk. Oh," He smirked like a smart ass. " Don't let me forget the door that goes out, which is directly behind you. Feel free to use it any time."

Another knock announced Rusty's return with the trash bag. She opened it for little more than a moment and snatched the bag.

" No one comes up here, Russ. No one. Just bring us food every once in a while. I've got this." She told him before shutting the door without waiting for a reply.

" I still don't think this is a good idea." He shouted out before it shut completely.

She sat the broom and dustpan down and walked purposely to the center of the room where the broken bottle still lay. Then she stooped down and snatched it up, dropping it with a heavy thud into the bag. Then she turned to him.  
" Where are the rest ?" She asked.

He crossed his arms over his chest and remained tight-lipped.

" I'll turn this place upside down if I have to. Now where are the fucking bottles, Cappie ?"

He stood there staring at her with hatred all over his face but refused to so much as move. His stubbornness permeated the air around him. His eyes were narrowed and his mouth set in a firm, tight line.

" Are you sure you're really ready to quit ?" She asked him, dropping the back to the floor and crossing her own arms.

" I said I am. Isn't that enough ?" He finally answered her.

" Not if you aren't going to cooperate with me. I think you're trying to get rid of me so you can get to your stash."

He glanced away quickly letting her know that she was pretty much on point in her assumption.

" Just let me handle this." He told her through tightly clenched teeth. His voice was barely more than a growl and for one terrifying, gut wrenching moment, she thought he was going to lunge at her. She had never in her life been scared of Cappie. She had never imagined in all the time she'd known him that he might hurt her. But this wasn't her Cappie in front of her. This was an alien dressed to look like the man she loved. Nothing about him seemed at all familiar.

He took a step towards her. A menacing, determined step and her heart stopped.

Then suddenly, as if realizing what he was doing, he spun around and moved to the other side of the room so quickly it startled her. " Get out of here." He spat over his shoulder. " I can do this alone. Just go away."

" Not going to happen. Now where is all the liquor ?" She reiterated.

" That's it. The one on the floor. There isn't anything else." He turned back to her with a completely new look on his face. This one was tired and solemn and resigned and she really wished she believed it.

She dropped her arms to her sides, knowing that the defensive posture wasn't gaining her any ground.

"Cap, you're hands are shaking so bad I can see them from here. You can't sit still. And I'm just barely keeping up with the mood swings. You have a problem. A real, very serious problem. You can't do this alone."

" Yes, I can." He said.

" Maybe you can." She sighed heavily. " But you don't have to. I'm right here and get it through your head, I'm not going anywhere. If you want to quit drinking, really want to quit, let me help you. It's the only way."

He stood there and she wanted to believe he was really thinking about what she was saying. She wanted to believe she was getting through to him. She felt the first stirrings of relief when he glanced down at his hand and watched it trembling for a long time. Then he shifted, dropping his hands to his sides and taking a deep cleansing breath. " Third drawer of the chest." He said quietly.

She felt his eyes boring into her as she went to the drawer and pulled it opened. She grabbed the bottle of liquor without really looking at it and tossed it into the bag she'd grabbed off the floor. Then she looked back to him. " Nightstand." He announced.

She went there and grabbed that bottle as well, giving it a quick toss. This time he moved. He went to the closet and opened the door with a little more force than necessary, sending it banging against its hinges. She watched as he pulled several articles of clothing on hangers aside and reached into the far depths of the darkened space. He came back out with three bottles in his hand. The brightly colored labels where a blur as he walked to her and threw them into to the bag with the rest.

" Is that all ?" She asked him.

" I really wish it were. That looks pretty bad already." He gave her a tight smile.

Then he went to the bed. Reaching under the mattress he yanked out a half full pint of something amber colored and threw it towards the bag. She raised it and caught it in mid air, hearing it shatter as it landed. Then he slid down to the floor and reached under the bed. She almost told him to be careful. If she knew him at all anymore, the recess under his bed was a scary, scary place.

Taking out two more bottles he flung them into the trash bag then slumped back against the mattress tiredly.

She took it as a sign that he was finally done. Looking at the heavy bag in her hand, her worry grew at the shear number of bottles in its contents.

" How did I not know how bad this was, Cappie ?" She asked, after setting the bag outside the door and calling for someone to come get rid of it. She sat down beside him and put her hand on his thigh. Looking into his face, she found what she had wanted to see earlier. Sincere, earnest, resignation and a little bit of fear. The self loathing she could have done without, but maybe it was necessary for him to do what needed to be done, so she accepted it without comment.

" I didn't want you to know. I didn't want anyone to know." He answered.

" How bad is it really ? Tell me the truth. It's just you and me here and I'm not judging. I just want to know."

He didn't answer for a long time and she thought maybe he wasn't going to, but then he turned his face to her with moisture brimming his eyes, threatening to fall any second. " It's all I do anymore. I stopped going to classes a while back. I haven't really done anything with the house in weeks. I haven't been dating, or even trying for that matter. I just hang out here and drink. Drink until I can't remember my name anymore, until I can't..." His voice trailed off as the dam in his eyes broke and the tears slid slowly down his cheeks. " remember anything anymore." He finished as he blinked rapidly, fighting a useless battle with his emotions.

" Oh, Cap." She whispered before bringing her arms around his shoulders and pulling him into her chest. He let her, folding easily against her body and resting his head against her breast. " We're going to make this okay. We'll get through this."

" I don't even know what day it is." He sniffled, and she ignored it like she knew he'd want her to do.

" It's Sunday now." She told him, smoothing his hair with her fingers.

" No," He shook his head. " I mean I don't even know what DAY it is."

She closed her eyes in anguish as she suddenly understood what he was asking her. " It's the thirteenth of June."

His head shot up and he looked at her incredulously. " June, It's June ?"

She nodded in affirmation.

" I can't remember the last time I looked at a calender. I really thought it was some time in May still." He smiled a rueful, regretful smile. " I missed seeing you graduate."

" It's okay." She assured him. " You'll be there when I finish law school."

" That's a promise." He told her resolutely.

" I'm going to hold you to that." She smiled.


	8. Chapter 8

Casey turned her head to look at the man sleepily restlessly on the bed behind her. She was sitting in his office chair, not ready to try to sleep yet. Cappie had long since succumbed to a painful headache and fallen into a fitful sleep.

She watched as he tossed the blankets away from him and gave an uneven sigh before shifting into a more comfortable position.

If she were honest with herself, she knew that she wanted nothing more than to climb into the bed beside him and rest her own aching head on his chest. But something held her back and she stopped to consider her options.

She couldn't leave him alone. He had barely been officially sober for twelve hours. She just couldn't trust him. She knew coming into this whole thing that a time would come when she'd have to sleep and she didn't relish the idea of trying to do that on his floor.

That left her with only one choice. She just wasn't sure she was ready for it. Well, actually, she was completely ready for it. She had never been not ready to sleep next to Cappie. She had never felt more content or comfortable than she did in his arms. She didn't know if he was ready for it. Not the sleeping, the waking up. Falling asleep beside someone was one thing. But there was something decidedly intimate about waking up next to someone. It was more personal, more invasive somehow.

Or maybe, she shrugged to herself, like her grandmother used to tell her when she was little, maybe she was making mountains out of molehills.

Maybe it wouldn't be as awkward as she imagined it would be. Maybe it would be easy and comfortable and familiar and he would appreciate that. She figured he could use a little familiar right about now.

She knew he was in a position he didn't often find himself in and it was one that he particularly hated. Leaning on others had never been his strong suit. He was more the person that people leaned on, than the person that leaned.

She wished she could make him see that. Cappie was a natural born leader with so much charm and charisma he could do anything he wanted. People loved Cappie. Even the people who were supposed to hate him at least admired him a little, though they might not ever admit it.

And he was a problem solver. A quick, inventive problem solver that could find a solution to even the most perplexing situation. She couldn't begin to count the number of times that his quick thinking and carefully devised plans had pulled the KT house's ass out of the fire. She couldn't help but see that the man laying in front of her struggling to find a few moments of peace from the path his life had taken, was the main reason the house was still standing, was still part of the Greek system. Cappie was the reason the KT's would go on.

But she couldn't make him see that his time for riding to the rescue here was over. It was well past time for him to pass the torch to the next generation.

Her brother's face sprang to her mind and she knew that if Cappie ever did decide to move on with his life, Rusty would be the one to pick up that torch and carry it proudly. She liked that thought. She had grown quite fond of the falling down, misfit, blotch on the Greek society that was KT house. She would hate to think of it coming to an end because Cappie wasn't there to hold it together.

But she had every confidence in Rusty's ability to step into Cappie's shoes. He might not believe he was capable of it. If she knew her brother at all, she knew he would immediately bulk at the idea. But she knew he could do it. She wished Cappie believed in him, too.

A part of her knew that was part of his problem. KT had been his home, more than any other place in the world ever had. He needed to know that it would continue after he was gone. He needed to be sure that the house would be okay without him.

She also knew that without the KT house, Cappie had nowhere to go and that bothered her more than a little. She wished she had a solution to offer him, but at the moment, she had nowhere to go either. A fleeting thought of them living together in a tent in the park struck her and she had to fight the snicker that threaten at the image in her mind.

He shifted again and this time opened one groggy eye to look at her. " Are you planning on sitting there watching me sleep all night ?" He asked as he raised up on one elbow.

She smiled at him. " I was just contemplating the sleep arrangements actually."

" And what conclusion did you come to ? Sleeping in the chair ?" He asked returning her smile, though his was tight and uneasy and not at all Cappie-like.

" I thought maybe I'd make a bed here on the floor. I wasn't sure what else to do."

He grabbed the blankets back around him, then he held them up at her in invitation. " Come to bed. Don't be ridiculous. You can't sleep on the floor. You have no idea what's down there."

She chuckled as she slipped from the chair and eased down onto the bed beside him.

" It's okay." He whispered over her shoulder even as his arm wrapped around her waist. " I think we can manage to share the same bed. It's happened a time or two before if memory serves."

She snuggled back into him, letting herself relax and feeling the tension leave her the second his arm came around her.

" Yeah, this does seem vaguely familiar." She told him still with a smile on her lips.

" Thank you." He said into her hair after a long moment of silence.

" For what ?" She asked, turning her head to look at him.

" You know very well for what." He smiled, again that tight, humorless smile. She wondered briefly if she'd ever see the real one again.

" It's nothing." She told him honestly. " No matter what happened or happens between us, I'll always be here for you. Nothing will ever change that."

" Ditto." He muttered into her hair as he snuggled closer to her.

" How are you feeling ?" She asked, turning in his arms without thinking about the consequences.

It was too late when she realized her error and she found herself flush against his chest, his arms wrapped around her and his lips merely centimeters away from hers. His breath brushed them as he spoke after visibly swallowing hard.

" I'm better. Sleeping helped, but my head is still killing me." He answered with his eyes glued to her lips.

Hers were watching his as well as he spoke and it took everything inside her not to close the distance between them.

She was just about to turn back around when she saw him curse under his breath even while his arm tightened around her waist. " I can't do this." He muttered.

" Yes, you can, Cap. Like I said, I'm right here. We're going to get through this." She tried to reassure him.

He sighed and held her tighter. " See, the problem is every time I slow down, every time I give myself a few minutes, I start thinking."

" About what ? Talk to me, Cap. You need to work all this out. It's eating you up inside." She told him.

She couldn't stand being so close to him any longer and she turned back over in his arms to give herself some room to regain her composer.

He took a deep breath and his hand flexed where it rested around her waist. " I'm leaving school at the end of the fall semester."

She flipped over so abruptly she bumped him in the process. " What ? When did this happen ? What are you going to do ?"

" I don't know what I'm going to do. I don't even know where I'm going to go at this point. I just know that everything here is changing. The freshman are getting younger or maybe I'm just getting older. I don't know. But I know that more and more lately I feel like a relic." He sighed. " I feel like the older brother trying to take care of a houseful of his siblings."

He let her go and fell to his back. Then he rubbed his forehead wearisomely. " I don't feel like one of them any more. It's just a matter of time before I stop feeling like a brother and start feeling like a parent and I'm not ready for that."

Casey tensed immediately and felt the sudden sensation of her stomach hitting the floor. He obviously noticed the change in her and turned his head to find her eyes.

" What ? Did I say something wrong ? I thought you'd be glad to hear all this." He asked, turning his entire body now and leveling her with a look of intense concern.

" No, I am glad to hear all this." She swallowed hard and tried to swipe her tongue over her suddenly very dry lips. " It's a good thing."

" Then why do you look like I just told the world is going to end tomorrow ?" He asked, reaching out to touch her cheek. " What's wrong ?"

She could feel the tears stinging her eyes and she tried with everything inside her to keep them from falling. " Tell me what you're planning to do after you leave."

He watched her carefully for a few more minutes, studying her eyes a little too intensely for her taste. But then he let it go and dropped his hand to her hair, letting his fingers play through it the way he normally did when they laid in bed talking.

" Like I said, I'm not sure. I have a few ideas. Tobias offered to let me tag along with him when he sets out on his new trek across the country." He smiled wistfully. " But something about spending a year backpacking around America with my father doesn't appeal to me as much as it once did. I've grown to appreciate indoor plumping and heating and air conditioning a little too much."

" I can understand that. Working showers and toilets are good things. So what else is brewing ?"

" Nationals offered me a job." He said in a flat tone that made her pause.

" What kind of job ?"

" I'd be a field secretary." He said.

" What's wrong with that ? I think that's a great idea." She told him.

" It's travel. A lot of travel. Two years of living out of a suitcase and going from one chapter to another to tell them what they're doing wrong and try to help them fix it."

" You'd be great at it." She insisted.

" What happens after that two years, though. Where do I go from there ?"

She didn't have an answer for him, and it was startling to see him thinking about the future like that.

" I got a letter from my uncle the other day." He said, his voice quiet and she could tell from his tone that whatever he was about to say, it was important. " He's thinking about retiring and he doesn't have any kids of his own. He wants me to come work for him."

" Doing what ?"

He took a deep breath. " He runs a halfway house for runaways and kids that really don't have anywhere else to go."

" Wow." She said. This was the first she'd ever heard about this uncle and she wondered why he had never mentioned him before.

" He wants to train me to take over." He stated unemotionally.

" You don't seem that excited by that prospect." She observed.

He pulled his hand back out of her hair and sighed. " Its the same thing as here. I'd be like a foster parent to some really messed up kids. Like I said, I'm not ready to be a parent."

The tears were back again and his words stung her more deeply this time. " You'd be great at it." She whispered, trying to hide her reaction from him.

He sat up abruptly, jarring her with the sudden movement. Taking her by the shoulders, he hauled her upright beside him. " Alright, already. I want to know what's wrong with you. Something is going on. You aren't going to law school. You almost start crying every time I mention the word parent. Is something wrong with one of your parents ? What's happening that I don't know about ? What is it that Rusty wants you to tell me ?"

She shook her head and try to pull away from him, but his hands were still on her shoulders holding her firmly in place. " I can't do this now." She told him, struggling to break free.

" What can't you do now, Casey ? Tell me what's wrong. I've told you what's bothering me. Now it's your turn." He insisted.

The tears were running down her cheeks now unobstructed and she closed her eyes against his blurred image. She didn't know how they had ended up here, in this conversation, but she knew it wasn't the right time for this. Using every last ounce of her strength she pulled away from him and got off the bed. Pacing, her mind flashed over how she could get out of the situation.

He followed her, relentless in his pursuit, not willing to give her time to think. He took hold of her shoulders again and turned her to face him.  
" Tell me." He demanded, harsher this time.

He searched her face, then let his eyes scan down her body, stopping at her mid section. He narrowed his eyes to scrutinized her so intently it felt like he was using some kind of x-ray vision on her.

She knew what he was seeing. She'd already noticed the slight bulge over the waist band of her pants. She was barely more than four months pregnant but it was already showing, at least to those that knew her body well. And Cappie knew her body better than anyone else in the world.

His fingers flexed into her shoulders as he continue to stand there, silently staring at her middle. Then he let her go and stumbled backwards before landing with a thud on the side of the bed.

" Oh God." He mumbled in a choked, throaty voice filled with too much emotion to decipher.

She wrapped her arms around her chest and held them there protectively. The movement seemed to somehow bring him back to himself and he looked up at her with startled, wide eyes.

His lip trembled as he opened his mouth to speak, then he closed it again, as if trying to decide what words to use. Finally he opened his mouth again and the voice was exactly the same, throaty, emotional and choked. " I'm such an idiot." He muttered.


	9. Chapter 9

He felt blindsided, like he'd just been smacked head on by a truck going full speed. His head reeled as he just sat there with his mouth hanging open and his eyes wide and terrified. He had no idea what to say to her, didn't know what he was thinking.

All the other problems in his life seemed to fade away as he watched her stomach moving up and down with each breath she took.

" How long ?" He finally managed to mutter around the lump that had formed in his throat.

" I'm not sure, but I'm guess about four months." She told him in a scared, quiet voice.

He wanted to jump to his feet and haul her into her arms. He wanted to comfort her and tell her that everything was going to be okay. He wanted to tell her that he was going to be right beside her every step of the way, but something held him back, something inside him made it impossible for him to move.

Finally he fought hard enough against that something to raise his eyes to hers. " Are you sure ? Have you seen a doctor ?"

" I haven't seen a doctor but I took the test and it seemed pretty sure." She shrugged.

Now he was on his feet and moving towards her quick enough that he couldn't talk himself out of it. "We need to get you to a doctor. Are you taking vitamins ?"

She blinked at him in confusion. " What ?" She mumbled, as if her brain couldn't quite keep up with what was happening. " Ah, yeah. I'm taking the prenatal ones. I have been for about a week now. I just found out myself."

" How are you just finding out, Case ? Didn't you notice before now ?" He asked her, stepping close enough to touch her without actually doing it.

She shrugged again and looked up at him with a contrite express. " I've had a lot going on with graduation and law school and leaving here and our breakup. I thought maybe it was stress. Sometimes that can cause it. Or maybe I did know and I just couldn't accept it until I couldn't put it off any longer." She admitted so quietly he thought she might be talking to herself.

" Yeah, you've always been really good at putting off dealing with things you don't want to deal with." He answered. It was meant as a statement of fact, not an insult or a barb in any way. He was far from angry with her and he certainly didn't want to fight. But Cappie was always a grand champion at putting his foot in his mouth and the look on her face said it was definitely the wrong thing to say.

" And you're so much better at dealing with things you don't like." She answered accusingly.

" Wait." He held up his hands in front of him and tried to calm the anger he saw written all over her face.

" No, I shouldn't be here. I shouldn't have come. You've been begging me to leave all day. Maybe that's for the best." She told him stalking towards the door in a huff. " Rusty can stay with you and make sure you're alright. Just promise me this won't just be another excuse for you to start drinking again."

He stepped towards and she retreated further towards the door in response. He had no idea what had happened in the two minutes since the conversation started and he wasn't sure what to do to turn it around again. He paused long enough to try and collect his thoughts but by the time he had, her hand was on the doorknob.

" Casey, please, just stop. Don't go." He managed to get out before the door opened.

" What Cap ? What can you possibly say that you haven't already said ? In the last two days you've told me that you felt sorry for any child that had to have me as a mother, you've repeatedly told me how you aren't ready to be a parent. I can't imagine that there's anything you've left out."

He shoulders slumped in defeat as he thought back over all the things he had said to her in the last twenty four hours. God, no wonder she hadn't wanted to tell him about this.

" We need to talk about this." He told her, taking another step towards her, then another quick one so that he was standing against the door, blocking her from leaving.  
She shot him an angry glare as she realized what he had done. Her hand fell from the doorknob and found its way to her hip along with the other one. " Get out of the way, Cappie. You can't keep me in

here."

" I'm not trying to keep you here. I'm just trying to get you to slow down and give me a chance to talk to you." He answered, planting his feet and refusing to move.

" Alright." She crossed her arms over her chest and raised her chin at him with a challenging look on her face. " Talk. I'm listening."

He opened his mouth to speak but nothing came out. Something was wrong with his tongue. It seemed about three sizes too large for his mouth suddenly and he wondered if that was one of the side effects of alcohol withdraw.

Deep down he knew it wasn't. His tongue had nothing to do with booze and everything to do with her looking at him with those huge, green, expectant eyes, knowing exactly what she wanted to hear from him. He knew what she wanted him to say, too. He just wasn't sure he knew how to say it. He regretted everything he said to her over the last few days. Couldn't believe he'd been so insensitive. But then he hadn't had all the facts. The things he had said about not being ready were true. Or at least they were a minute ago, before he knew that he no longer had that option in front of him.

" Before you say something completely out of line that I won't ever be able to forgive you for, let me just tell you that I have every intention of keeping this baby." She said, as if cutting him off at the pass, even though the thought of there being any other choice had never entered his mind.

If she had been any other girl, coming to him with this kind of news, he would have thought about it at least. The idea would have occurred to him at any rate. But this was Casey and she was standing here in front of him, carrying his child and he had never even entertained the idea of making that go away.

" I wasn't even thinking it." He told her, sincerely. " It hadn't even occurred to me, actually."

" Then what are you thinking, Cappie ? Because right now, I honestly can't tell and I don't like that. I've always been able to read you so well. But now, you're a complete mystery to me." She sighed tiredly and he realized that they had been trying to go to bed when all this started.

" How about this ? You've had time to process this. Give me the same thing." He suggested in a calm reasonable voice. " Let's just go to bed and we'll talk about it first thing in the morning."

She shifted from one foot to the other like she was debating the idea internally.

Finally, her shoulders slumped and she turned away from him.

When she made it to the bed, she sank down into it, before finding his eyes. " Do you maybe have something a little more comfortable for me to sleep in ? These jeans have become uncomfortably tight over the last week or so."

He smiled at her and nodded, before going to the dresser by the window and pulling out one of his shirts for her.

" I think I'll grab a shower while you change and get ready for bed." He told her. " I could sure use one."

She nodded as her fingers began to move over the buttons of her shirt. " You aren't planning on getting sidetracked on the way back here, you are ?" She asked, eying him suspiciously.

He grabbed another shirt for himself and a pair of pajama bottoms. " No, I wasn't planning on it. In fact, I haven't even thought about drinking since I woke up earlier." He answered her honestly. He really hadn't even felt the need for a drink after waking up to her watching him sleep.

And now since the new revelation, it really was the last thing on his mind.

She was laying on her side, surrounded by his purple comforter with her eyes closed when he returned less than ten minutes later. It had been a quick shower. In all honesty, he made it that way because there was a part of him that was worried she wouldn't be there when he returned if he gave her too much time to really think things out.

That was Casey's way. It was easier to run away from a tough situation than deal with it. One of the few areas where they were alike instead of so incredibly different.

He started to eased into bed beside her, but stopped at the last minute and took the chair beside the bed instead. One of her hands was curled into a fist, wrapped around the comforter tightly and it was a move he recognized as familiar for her. She had started doing it because of him. He never slept under the blankets. He started out that way normally but by the time the night was over, they were usually pooled at the foot of the bed, tossed off by him while he slept.

Casey was a blankets kind of girl. She hated not being covered up while she slept. She had taken to holding tightly to the comforter when they first began sharing a bed so that he wasn't able to throw the blankets off her as well when he shucked them away in the night.

It was odd to think that she had developed a habit specifically because of him. It was a testament to the fact that they had effect each other. Touched each others lives in a way that would probably never change. She was a different person now than the Casey he met during Freshman year and that moved something inside him. He had changed her. He had had a hand in creating the Casey she was today.

And he knew that the same could be said for him. He wasn't the same person either.

He wondered about the impact of that. He had been with a lot of women and other than a maybe the one girl that taught him a whole new way to shoot tequila, he couldn't think of anything about him that had changed because of them.

They hadn't affected him in the long run. The way he viewed life hadn't altered one bit because of any of those passing women. Maybe Casey was different because she had lasted longer than any other.

But he doubted that was the case.

Still, he had been with Rebecca long enough for her to have some impact and the only thing in his life that he could really say he saw differently because of her were the stacks in the library where they met during the brief period when they were trying to keep their relationship secret.

Casey was different. She had come into his life meant to make an impact. The first time he saw her, he knew nothing would ever be the same for him. He still remembered spotting her across the crowded backyard of the KT house during the freshman party. It was like she glowed, a beacon in a mass of other bodies. Something about her had drawn him to her, like a moth to a flame. And that never changed. She was always his flame. Also the beacon standing out in the crowd and shining so brightly it made his eyes ache to look at her sometimes.

He had been a fool for leaving her on that pier. The biggest mistake he had ever made was turning away from her and walking away. Even if all she was offering him was a crumb compared to what he wanted from her, it was a crumb at least and he should have jumped on the opportunity to hold her for whatever amount of time she would allow him to. He had made so many mistakes where she was concerned. The end of the world party came quickly to mind. Letting Evan stop him from running to her that night was his second biggest mistakes. It could have added months to his time with her. Fighting with her and himself through most of his junior year had been the third. He should have told her. So many times he should have just told her exactly how he felt about her. Laid it all out and made her listen to him, made her understand how much he loved her and how much he knew she loved him, too.

It was all just time wasted. So much wasted time on their already far too short ride together. Even if they had the rest of their lives, it was still too short a time to waste even a day of it.

He huffed and ran his hand through his hair roughly. This is what she did to him. She turned him into some lovesick idiot sitting around waxing philosophically in the middle of the night about how much he loved her. He wasn't himself where Casey was concerned. He couldn't be him around her anymore and that scared him more than a little. He just wasn't sure that the changes she made in him were good ones. Was it better to let himself become a doting, overly emotional, sappy fool ? Was that better than the care free, devil may care, laid back easy guy he normally was ?

He wondered if there would ever become a time when he could infuse the two sides of him. There were aspects of both that he really liked. He loved how his chest ached from the weight of his feelings for her. But he hated that that feeling was almost too much for him at times and it felt like it was consuming him from the inside out. He loved his easy going nature, but he hated that with it came a complacency for things that he knew he had no business being complacent about. Like letting her run to Evan during freshman year. He should have fought for her. He should been outside her windows with a boom box over his head screaming out the lyrics to In your Eyes, if that was what it took. He should have crawled to her on his knees and begged her to forgive him for all the stupid, douche moves he had made while he was privileged enough to call her his. He shouldn't have ever let her go to begin with. And whether she was the one that left or not, he knew that first time, he had let her go. He hadn't appreciated her enough to make sure that she never wanted to look anywhere else. She shouldn't have ever felt the need to find comfort in Evan. He knew very well that if he had made sure she knew what she meant to him, she never would have left.

" Are we taking turns in the chair ?" She asked sleepily as she opened her eyes lazily.

He cleared his throat, startled by her voice in the quietness of the room. " I was just thinking."

" Thinking good or thinking bad ?" She asked, sliding to her usual side of the bed and pulling the blanket back for him in invitation.

" A little of both kinda." He answered as he slipped into the bed and turned to face her.

" Want to talk about it ?" She asked, inching closer to him.

He shook his head, yes. " No."

She inched closer still and gave him a smile. " Was it about the baby ?"

He shook his head again, this time negatively. " No. It was about us, you, all of it I guess."

She blinked up at him. " You were thinking bad things about me ?"

" No, I was thinking bad things about me." He answered, giving up and pulling her into his side while he rolled to his back. She settled her head into the familiar nook of his shoulder and wrapped one of her arms across his waist.

His heart stopped beating for a moment and his stomach fall to the floor as it hit him how very right and familiar and good it felt to hold her like that. He couldn't count the number of times they had laid together just like they were, talking until dawn about anything and everything.

One of the things that really stood out in his mind about his relationship with Casey was that he talked to her. He couldn't remember ever doing that with any of the other girls he'd been with. Not even Rebecca, though his conversations with her were longer than most.

Still, Casey was more to him than just his lover. More to him than his girlfriend. He'd never tell Beaver or Wade, but Casey was his best friend. She knew him better than anyone else in the world and he missed having her with him. He missed the conversations. He missed the feeling of being connected to someone the way he was to her. He missed being a part of something so much bigger than him.

He cleared his through again to try to cover his hesitant pause and he felt her tense against him.

" Maybe I should go back over there." She said quietly as she made to move back to her side of the bed.

He tightened his arm where it rested around her waist and held her closer. Then he propped his head on top of hers. " Don't. Don't move."

" Cap, I'm not sure this is such a good idea. I mean, nothing has changed really. We still aren't sure where we stand as a couple in all this. I think this is just clouding things up even more." She tried to explain even as her fingers began to play with the edges of his shirt.

" I know and you're probably right. This isn't a good idea. But its what I need and its what you need and that's really all that matters right now." He said.

She relaxed into this arms, not fighting him any longer and he breathed a sigh of relief. He was afraid she was going to insist on moving.

" So what kind of bad thoughts were you thinking about you ? Because I for one, know you are a pretty descent guy."

He chuckled sardonically. " You give me too much credit. I'm a douche. I have a great aptitude for being a douche. You have witness my doucheness on more than one occasion, in fact."

She laughed. " Your doucheness ?"

" Yeah, see, I'm such a douche, I had to make up a word just to describe me." He joined her laughter.

She snuggled in closer to him. " You aren't always a douche."

" Maybe not always, but always when it counts." He admitted honestly.

" You always have your reasons." She still tried to excuse him.

He leaned back so that he was able to see into her face. " There is no reason in the world good enough to excuse all the things I've done to you, all the times I've hurt you."

She blinked rapidly as she looked up into his face. " You aren't alone. I've hurt you plenty, too."

" I should have been breaking down your door the night of the end of the world party. I shouldn't have let anything stop me from getting to you." He told her as he brushed a stray strand of honey blond hair from her cheek. " I should never have made you feel lonely or unimportant or neglected. Not ever, not for any reason." He continued. " I shouldn't have left you on that pier at Myrtle Beach. I should have taken the opportunity to use the last few months I had with you to show you that I am so much more than just a few chapters in the story of your life. I want to be so much more than that. I want to be the leading man and it kills me to think that I might have missed out on my chance for that role."

" Cappie." She whispered his name as the tears fell down her cheeks and her hand fisted tightly into his t-shirt.

" I'm sorry." He said, looking away from her. " I probably shouldn't have said all that. It isn't the right time to rehash all our greatest hits."

" It's okay that you said it all. I'm glad you did." She took a deep breath before putting a hand against his cheek and rubbing her thumb across the stubble covering his cheekbone. " I just don't know what it all means."

He sighed and leaned into her palm, enjoying the feel of her touch far more than he wanted to. " It means this." He breathed a moment before his lips were crushing into hers and he was pulling into his chest with every ounce of strength in his arms.


	10. Chapter 10

One of his hands was buried in her hair, the other inching its way under his shirt, which she was wearing. Casey wasn't sure what was happening but she did know she didn't want it to ever stop. Still there was a part of her, a part that was growing more and more panicked by the minute that needed some clarification. She needed to know what the hell was going on.

Her hand, resting on his chest, could feel his heart pounding against her palm and she knew hers was matching it beat for beat. Her leg had somehow found itself wound around his and her heel was digging into his calf as she struggled to bring herself closer to him, as if that were possible.

His tongue was bumping over her teeth, lashing at the roof of her mouth and stealing her breath with every delicious stroke. He tasted exactly like she remembered. He felt exactly like she remembered. The sounds he made that she swallowed down relentlessly, the smell of his skin, the look in his eyes when he drew away from their kiss long enough to catch his breath. It was all just like she remembered and she couldn't help the groan that escaped her lips when instead of plunging his tongue back into her mouth, he slid it along the side of her neck.

Her fingers tightened and twisted in the fabric of his shirt, desperately clutching at his shoulder like she had suddenly lost gravity control and he was the only thing holding her down.  
There was a fire raging inside her. One that began the moment his lips meet hers and while she had always responded enthusiastically to Cappie's touch, it had never felt as powerful as what she was suddenly feeling. All thoughts of why this was happening were soon banished from her mind.

She needed him, felt like there was nothing as important in the world to her at the moment. His hand inched up further, drawing her shirt up as well and she arched her back into his palm when he finally found her breasts. It felt like she was starving for him. Every touch was exquisite and prefect. Her whole body tighten internally when his thumb brushed across her nipple.

At seeing her ardent response, he dropped his head and took her nipple into his mouth while his hand move to the other one.

Then he stopped suddenly and pulled his mouth from her body. The look on his face was something akin to fascinated as he stared down at her hardened nipple. " It looks different." He commented finally.

She raised her eyebrows at him in question.

" It's darker, bigger, maybe." He said, brushing his fingertips over it and causing her entire body to quiver all at once.

" Cappie," She said, getting his attention and looking him straight in the eye. Her hand came up to the back of his head and she fisted her fingers in his hair to emphasize her words. " It adorable and a little disturbing that you know my nipple that well, but right now, I don't care."

" Oh, right. Sorry." He muttered, physically shaking himself out of his sidetrack. Then he immediately took the nipple back into his mouth and flicked his tongue over the tip.

" Oh God," She groaned, arching her back and pushing more of her breast into his mouth.

" Wow, Case," He said, stopping again. " I've missed you, too."

She tightened her fingers in his hair, pulling it slightly and opened her eyes again. " Please shut up." She whispered, almost pleadingly.

He instantly compiled and went right back to doing what he had been doing before he interrupted himself.

She nearly howled at the sensation of his thumb flicking across one nipple and his mouth at the other. It was ridiculous the way she felt her body reacting to him. She felt like she hadn't had sex in months or maybe even years.

Every brush of his fingertip or lash from his tongue brought a whole new wave of pleasure over her and she caught herself time and again on the verge of crying out so loudly it was sure to alarm the entire house. She didn't want to groan his name, she wanted to shout it out loud.

When he pulled away from her, untangling his limbs from hers, she very nearly did scream at him. She had no idea where he was going or why, she only knew that she needed him back against her, needed to feel his body beside her, over her, under her, just there with her.

Reaching out she grasped blindly for whatever part of him she could find. And her eyes flashed opened when he caught her hand and kissed her palm before giving a quiet, little chuckle and raising up from the bed altogether.

He was stopping, backpedaling, changing his mind about the whole thing and there was no way she could just accept that now. It was too late. He had started the blazing inferno inside her and he was damn well going to put it out.  
But when she found his face, her fears were immediately alleviated. The look in his eyes said he had no intention of stopping anything. When he reached the hem of his shirt and flung it over his head, she sighed in relief. Then he quickly and deftly discarded his pajama bottoms and stepped out of them, before coming back to her with heavily lidded eyes the darkest blue she had ever seen them. They sparkled as he stared down at her and she smiled in response.  
There it was. The genuine Cappie smile she'd been looking for since she return. All he needed was her to make it reappear and she loved the thought of that. The thought of knowing that without her beside him, he simply wasn't him.

He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her into his body for a moment, before he pulled away in alarm and looked down at her.

" God, Casey. You're on fire. Are you sure you're okay ?" He asked, trying to pull further away.

" Fine." She mumbled an instant before grabbing his head and bringing his lips back to hers.

He was tugging at her shirt and she let him break the kiss long enough to rip it over her head and toss it away. Then his hands were at her sides, gliding over her smooth skin and leaving a trail of goosebumps in their wake.

He laid her back gently, easing her down onto the mattress like he thought she might break if he handled her too roughly.

" You're sure this is okay ?" He asked even as his head dropped down to find her breast again.  
" Fine." She muttered again and let out of hiss as he grazed his teeth over her breastbone.

Her hands were clutching at his shoulders and tugging at him urgently. She had had enough of the build up. She just needed him now, needed to feel him everywhere.

Still he held back and continued to tease her with his tongue and lips and fingers. It was quickly becoming too much.

She dropped her hand from his shoulder and let it trail down his chest. The feel of his skin under her hand was mesmerizing and intoxicating and exhilarating. It was a quick journey. She didn't have time to re-familiarize herself with his body. The need inside her at the moment was too great for that and she needed to do something to get him on the same page with her.

Passing his navel, she let her fingers travel lithely through the trail of hair that ran down the center of his abdomen.

He jerked and threw his head back when he suddenly felt her hand surrounding his length and giving it a persuasive squeeze. Her fingers barely fit around him as he pulsed and throbbed in her hand, burning her palm with his heat.

He gave a strangled, choked cry before burying his face in her hair and panting into her ear.

She let her fingers begin to stroke over his hardness, rubbing her thumb against a particular large vein near the head and he cried out at the feeling, digging his fingers into her sides and fighting to pull air into his lungs.

Her lips found his and she delved her tongue into his mouth for a moment before pulling it out of his way. As soon as his tongue passed her lips, she closed them around it and began to suck feverishly.

He sank into her further, his whole body covering hers. She wrapped her legs around his thighs and continued to pump her hand around him and suck at his tongue, driving him to the limit of his composure.

Finally he pulled away from her mouth and let a long, deep groan escape his lips before tugging himself out of her reach.  
She almost cried out at the loss and immediately began to grab for his length again.

He put a hand on her shoulder, stilling her for a moment as he took a deep breath.

" What has gotten into you ?" He asked in wonderment as he moved his fingers to the waistband of her panties and began to peel them from her body.

" Don't know." She shrugged as she raised her hips to help him rid her of the last piece of clothing between them. " Hormones, maybe."

" Trust me, I'm not complaining, just curious." He smiled brightly as he moved in to kiss her again.

He moved his body over hers, adjusting himself between her parted thighs as he reached for the nightstand drawer beside the bed.

" What the hell are you doing ?" She asked with a smile of her own.

" Getting a -" He stopped and laughed. " I suppose its a little late for that."

" A little." She nodded.

He raised an eyebrow at her. " You're sure its okay ?" He asked uncertainly.

" Are you afraid I might get pregnant ?" She smirked.

" I was thinking there are worse things than pregnant." He answered, suddenly very serious.

" Do you have something I don't know about ?" She asked, again with the smirk.

He shook his head. " Not that I know of."

" Are you questioning whether I'm okay ?" This time the smirk was quickly turning into a frown.

" Of course not." He told her immediately.

" Is there someone else here we should be worried about ?" She continued, looking at him like he was an idiot.

" Well, no. That's not-" He stopped himself from speaking and took a deep breath. " I just want to be sure that this is okay without, you know, something."

" Cappie, You're killing the mood. Now." She told him, grabbing his shoulders and yanking him down to her body.

He sighed and continued to hold himself away from her, though now she could feel him resting right against her. Her body pulsed with need at the feel of him so close, yet not nearly close enough. She tried to raise her hips and force him inside her but he was ready for the move and held her steady to the bed.

" Cappie." She whined and he smiled down at her with twinkling eyes and a mischievous smile that made her want to slap him.

" What is it, Case ? He asked between pulls at her bottom lip with his teeth.

" Stop it." She insisted, trying to raise up again.

" Stop what ?" He asked with a wiggle of his hips that caused his hardness to brush against her overly sensitive bundle of nerves and sent her back arching off the bed.

" Quit," She demanded, taking hold his shoulders and digging her nails into his skin. " teasing me."

He hissed in pain. " Am I teasing you ?" He asked once he recovered.

Then he reached up quickly and grabbed both her hands, yanking them down to the bed over her head and holding them there with one of his.

Now she was effectively trapped under him and completely at his mercy.

" What if I'm not ready for that yet ?" He asked, dragging his mouth down the side of her throat, then back up to her lips again. " What if I'm not done playing yet ?"

" But I am done. I want you now." She told him in a low dangerous voice.

His free hand came down and cupped her breast, " When are you going to learn that everything isn't about you ?" He said, before dropping his mouth over her nipple and sucking on it with a renewed fervor that nearly sent her body into convulsions.

" Cappie," She breathed out his name on the end of a pant and tried to pull her hands out of his hold. He just tightened his grip on her wrists and let his other hand trail down the center of her body.

" It's been a long time since I've had a chance to see you like this. I want to savor it for a little longer." He whispered against her skin.

His hand was still descending, fingertips easily gliding over her smooth, sweat moistened skin. When he got to her bikini line, her heart stopped beating in anticipation of him actually touching her. But instead, he moved off to the side, tracing the line of her curls over to the junction of her leg and hip. He followed the nature line of her body, sliding along her inner thigh at a punishingly slow pace.

When his knuckle brushed along her outer lips, she jerked and gasped out loud at the feeling.

He glanced up at her face to gauge her reaction better, clearly bewildered by her overly eager response.

" Wow." He said again.

" Cappie, I mean it, stop now. Please." She answered hating how desperate her voice sounded.

" Alright." He smiled, pulling his head from her breast. " I'll stop."

He let go of her arms and she immediately laced them around his shoulders.

He found her lips again and this time the kiss was much more heated, much more intense. It was as if he were trying to tell her something without knowing what words to use.

Then suddenly, so quickly it startled her, he was inside her, buried so deep she felt as if there was no possible way he could go any further.

His breath left his body in a gush of air that hit her in the face and she threw her head back and arched into him in celebration of the feeling of oneness she finally felt again.

After a long drawn out moment, he began to move, slowly, barely more than a slight rocking of his hips. Her legs fell naturally around his waist her and she inadvertently dug her heels into his ass, pulling him further inside her.

" I can't-" He panted as he started to move faster now. His sentence interrupted by his gasp for air. "You are so hot." He finally managed.

Her arms slipped off his shoulder and she had to keep readjusting them against his sweat slick skin.

" More," She gasped as she raised her hips from the bed and ground her pelvis into his.

He gathered her into his arms, slipping them under her back and raised her off the bed. Then he flipped them quickly so that she was straddling his hips and he was flat on the bed. " I'll just let you do this." He smiled up at her. Then pulled her flush against him before whispering in her ear. " Control freak."

She was just about to laugh when he wiggled his hips and plunged them upwards in an unexpected move that sent a multitude of quakes through her entire body.

She sat up and smiled down at him with a delighted glint in her eyes. Starting off slowing, she began to rock her hips over him, and he threw his head and clutched her waist in response.

" Casey," He murmured when he pulled her back down again and found her lips.

He held her tightly against his body, crushing her breasts into his solid chest and planted his feet on the bed.

Then he started to thrust himself upwards, sinking deeper into her with each stroke.

She couldn't stop the sounds escaping from her lips. She thought he recognized her name in the sounds coming from him as well. He was holding her so tightly against him she could barely breath. His lips plundered her in a endless kiss that muffled at least some of the noises they were making.

She shuddered in his arms and growled in his ear, helpless to stop the reaction. He was moving quickly now and she was meeting him stroke for stroke, thrust for thrust. Both of them barreling towards the release their bodies craved.

" Oh, God." She cried out as she threw her head back and felt everything inside her tense at once.

" Casey!" He practically screamed to the ceiling, his voice echoing off the walls as he joined her and plunged into her one last time.

She crumpled over him, her body splayed out over his in a useless heap of no longer responding body parts.

His arms were still wrapped around her, holding to him desperately, His large hands nearly covered her completely, one at her lower back,the other her shoulder blades.

Suddenly, he shifted under her and his hand came up to roughly trail through his hair, dragging it away from his face.

She raised her head, the only part of her body that she had full control over at the moment and looked at him, intrepidly. She was afraid of what she would find there. Afraid that there would be regret or at least apprehension looking back at her. But she'd have to wait to see his reaction. His eyes were closed and his hand still rested there, shielding his expression from her view. She wondered if he had done that on purpose, used his hand to hide his face from her. It hadn't been more than a few hours since he told her he didn't want to rekindle this thing between them, since he rejected her on the bridge and walked away, leaving her crying and alone, yet again.

She shifted, sliding out of the arm that was still wrapped around her waist and settled on the bed next to him. He started at the movement, opening his eyes and moving his hand, but letting her move without stopping her.

It was a little unsettling. Normally, she would have to insist before he reluctantly let her out of his arms. Usually, he was the one that kept holding on long after their breaths had returned to normal and their hearts stopped trying to escape their chests.

She wasn't touching him now. Her body was well on her own side of the bed and she watched as his chest continued to rise and fall with each breath he grasped for. Finally, he inhaled deeply and raised his hand to swipe at the sweat covering his forehead.

She waited, completely still, not wanting to risk any moment until she knew what his reaction would be. Internally she chastised herself for letting things get so out of hands. She should have stopped this. She should have insisted they talk first. Not knowing what was going to happen next was driving her insane. He was so unreadable and distant. It felt like he was miles away from her instead of just a mere few centimeters. And laying there beside him, completely unclothed, she felt vulnerable and scared and she hated that.

She decided to make the small movement necessary to pull the sheet over her hip and used it cover the bottom half of her, at least, granting her a touch more composure.

He noticed the movement and turned his head towards her. And her heart immediately began to thump again. But still he said nothing and his expression was guarded, hesitant and completely foreign to her.

With a frustrated huff she sat up and dragged the sheet to her chest at the same time. " Say something." She whispered, not trusting her own voice at the moment. " Please."

He shifted, turning towards her and reached up to touch her cheek. " I love you." He answered and it was exactly what she needed to hear.

She released a breath she hadn't realized she was holding and let herself relax, unclenching muscles she hadn't realized she was clenching either.

She had no idea how much his reaction meant to her until he actually gave her one. Then she understood that something inside her felt like everything about her future was riding on that moment. Everything she wanted was in his power.

She snaked her tongue out to wet her suddenly dry lips and cleared her throat, trying to dislodge the lump that had formed there. But it did her no good and suddenly she was crying and she couldn't make herself stop and not just crying, that would have been a least a little reasonable. No, she was sobbing, gut wrenching, unstoppable sobs that wracked through her entire body and came from her core.

" I'm sorry." He squeaked as he jerked himself upright and wrapped his arms around her. " I didn't mean it. I take it back."

She was shaking her head against his chest, trying to tell him that that was the last thing she wanted but she couldn't get the words past her lips. All she could manage was a wail in protest.

" Case," He urged, trying to untangle her from his body so he could look at her, but she buried herself further into his chest and wrapped her arms tighter around his shoulders. " You're scaring me a little here. What's wrong ?"

She still only managed to shake her head and it was clear that he didn't understand what she was trying to tell him.

" Did I say something, do something ? Whatever it was, I'm sorry. I didn't mean it." He continued. " If you don't want me to tell you I love you, just pretend it never happened."

She cried louder and he apparently decided the best thing he could do was wait until it was over, because he tighten his arms around her and started to smooth her hair as he whispered in her ear.

He stopped doing that once he saw that every time he said something she just got louder. Hearing him tell her it was all going to be alright, listening as he assured her that he had her and he wasn't going anywhere, none of that was helping her collect her composer. In fact, it was just adding to the emotional deluge that she couldn't seem to make go away.

Everything felt like it was crashing down around her and at the same time she was happier than she had ever been. Back in his arms was exactly where she wanted to be. Knowing he was with her, going to stay beside her through everything made it all okay somehow. She didn't even understand why she was crying.

Someone knocked on the door and she jerked in his arms, startled by the sudden sound in the quietness of the room.

" Hang on." He whispered as he laid a kiss on top of her head and extracted her from his arms.

She let him go only after he promised her he'd be right back. As soon as he was off the bed, she grabbed the sheet more tightly around her and curled herself into a fetal ball in the center of the bed. Her eyes stayed glued to Cappie as he grabbed his pajama pants from the floor and slid into them before going to the door.

" What ?" He asked, jerking it opened only enough to peak outside.

" I heard crying." She heard Rusty's voice on the other side of the door. " What did you do to her ?"

His tone sounded very accusatory and confrontational and she tensed as she saw the muscles in Cappie's back flex in response.

" I didn't do anything. She's fine." He said. " We were just-" he paused, obviously not really knowing how to finish that sentence and drew his hang through his hair. " we're fine. Everything's fine."

" Apparently not if I can hear her sobbing all the way out here in the hall. Let me see her." Rusty demanded and the door moved as if he were trying to push his way inside.

" She's a little indisposed right now." Cappie argued.

" A little indisposed ?" Rusty barked. " What's going on in there ?"

" Not really your business, there, Little Buddy." Cappie answered. " Just, calm down and let me handle this. I've got it. It's all under control."

Rusty huffed and she decided it was time to intervene on Cappie's behalf, feeling like it was the only way her brother would go away.

She got up from the bed and wrapped the sheet tighter around her body.

" You've got it under control ?" Rusty was saying. " Forgive me if I'm not too convinced of your abilities to control anything right now."

Cappie's hand tightened on the door and Casey stepped under his arm before he had a chance to respond.

" I'm fine, Russ." She said, as Cappie's arm came around her waist. " We're good."

" Then why were you crying ?" Rusty continued, before he had a chance to take in her attire. When he did, he took a step back and closed his eyes for a moment. " I'm sorry. I thought something was wrong." He tried to explain. " I heard you crying and it sounded bad. I didn't know."

" It's okay." She smiled at him reassuringly. " Thank you for checking on me. But like I said. I'm fine."

" Sorry, Cap. I didn't mean to be so mean." He muttered as he glanced up at his best friend.

" I understand. I would have done the same thing if it was me." Cappie smiled back at him congenially.

" Do you need anything ?" He asked, as he started to step further away from their door.

Cappie pulled her tighter into his side and nuzzled her hair for a moment. " Maybe a bite to eat would be good. Something to drink."

Both Cartwrights jerked their eyes to his face in response.

He sighed in exasperation. " Water, juice, soft drink. I'm sure Casey could use something right about now." He explained as if they were both idiots.

" Yeah," Rusty nodded. " I'll take care of it. You just go back to doing whatever it was you were doing." He looked like he thought about that for a moment before he stumbled over his own feet and looked back at them with a shamed look on his face. " Or, don't. I don't know. Just, ah, I'll take care of the food."

Then he was gone and Cappie was smiling like an idiot as he watched him leave.

" I think we embarrassed him." He said as he ushered her inside and closed the door behind them.

" He'll be fine, once his eyes quit bleeding." Casey assured him. " I went through a similar experience about a month ago while Dana was visiting. I'm still considering therapy."

He stopped and pulled her into his embrace, wrapping his arms around her once again. " Are you really okay ?" He asked, his lips brushing her temple as he spoke.

She nodded and took a deep breath. " I'm sorry. I don't-"

He stopped her from finishing with a kiss. " Don't apologize. It's okay. I understand. I almost broke into tears myself."

She laughed as he led her over to the bed.

" We should probably talk about all this though." He said as he settled himself against the headboard and pulled her into his lap. " If you think you can handle it, now. That is."

She opened her mouth to tell him that she thought she'd be okay when there was another knock on the door.

" What ?" Cappie yelled towards it, not willing to move to answer it this time.

" It's me." Heath's voice sounded from the other side of the door. " Can I come in ? Is everybody descent ?"

" As descent as we're going to be." Cappie answered and Casey could tell he was trying to keep the irritation out of his voice.

The door opened slowly and Heath stepped in with two glasses of orange juice and an understanding smile.

" Can I talk to Casey for a sec ?" He asked, " Alone, I mean."

Cappie's eyebrow's rose at him questioningly. " Is there something wrong ?" He asked.

" Oh, no." Heath shook his head. " Rusty was just telling me about something that was going on with one of Casey's friends and I thought, since I'm premed, I might be able to help her friend out, a little anyway."

Cappie took his glass of juice and handed the other one to Casey. She accepted it with a thanks and took a huge drink from it.

" He knows, Heath." She said, after setting the glass on the table by the bed. " He knows everything."

Cappie laughed and rolled his eyes. " That was the most ridiculous cover story I've ever heard. If I didn't know already I would certainly be suspicious. Really, Heath ? A friend ? I thought I'd taught you better than that."

He shrugged and dropped his hands to his sides. " I'm sorry, Cap. I guess we can't all be gifted bullshit artists like you." He came to the side of the bed and looked at it for a second before Cappie moved his leg over enough to give him room to sit. Then he looked at Casey. " Are you okay ?"

" I'm fine." She answered a bit snappishly. " I already told Rusty that."

" I know and I told him the same thing. But he made me promise to come and check on you myself. So here I am." He smiled.

" Well, tell him the only thing wrong with me right now is that he is irritating the hell out of me." She said with a smile of her own.

" He said you haven't seen a doctor yet."

" I'm going to make an appointment first thing in the morning." Cappie answered this time.

Heath glanced up at him and there was a brief moment of surprise on his face but he hid it quickly.

" I'm asking because one of my professors is also a practicing OBGYN and I'm sure I can get her to work you in to see her pretty quickly." He explained.

She snuggled a little tighter into Cappie's embrace. " That would be great. I'd really appreciate that."

Cappie shifted a little under her as he reached to put his own glass down beside hers. " So, Rusty has informed the entire household of our news ?" he asked.

" No," Heath shook his head immediately. " Just me. Beaver and Wade don't know what to think about all the crying." He looked down at his hands like he was suddenly very uncomfortable. " Or all the other stuff for that matter. And Rusty wasn't around for the other stuff. He was making dinner."

" The other stuff ?" Casey asked, sitting up a little straighter.

Heath got up from the bed and buried his hands in his pockets. " Well there were noises..." He trailed. " They're pretty sure they know what that was about." His cheeks were flushed a bright shade of red. "But then the crying started and they didn't know what to think."

" What the hell ? Were you are sitting outside the door ?" Cappie asked as Casey buried her face in his chest in embarrassment.

" We were in Beav's room playing _Call of Duty_." Heath explained quickly.

Casey glanced at the wall to her left, the one less than a couple of feet from the bed. She knew that Beaver's bed was directly on the other side of that wall, pushed right up against it. She also knew from many hours spent playing video games in that room that Wade, Beaver and Heath had all been sitting either right against that wall or very close to it. She was very glad to know that at least her brother had been present for the whole episode.

" I'm sorry." He shrugged again. " We wanted to be close if you needed anything. You know, we didn't know what was going on."

" It's okay." Casey said, burying her face again. " I'm just going to die of embarrassment now. It'll be okay."

" It's good to see you looking better." He told Cappie as he got to the door. " You really had us worried for a minute."

Cappie shifted again, picking Casey's shoulders up and sliding out from under her. " I'll be right back. I just want to check on something." He told her, brushing a kiss against her lips. " You'll be okay for a sec ?"

" I'm fine." She insisted a lot more forcefully this time.

" You really are, you know." Heath said from the door. " The crying is completely normal. My mother was a wreck the entire time she was pregnant with my sister. A box of Cheerios could set her off."

" Thank you." She told him before both men stepped out of the room.


	11. Chapter 11

Cappie walked down the hall side by side with Heath. There was something he needed to do and he needed to do it now. He knew that the conversation he was about to have back in his room was going to be a big one and he wanted this over and done with before he got so wrapped up in Casey that he forgot about it. He didn't want to forget. It was too important.

They were making their way down the stairs and Heath cleared his throat to get his attention, bringing him out of his inner musing and returning him to the present.

" How are you ?" He asked when Cappie turned to look at him.

" I'm fine." Cappie answered. " The drinking is over. I'm done. This thing with Casey ended all of that. I haven't even thought about having a drink since I figured it out."

Heath smiled his usual, gentle, understanding smile. " I'm really glad to hear that. You had us all pretty worried, but I wasn't talking about the drinking."

" Oh," Cappie paused trying to decide how best to answer him. " I'm not exactly sure yet. I'm kinda shell shocked right now. It was the last thing I was expecting." He took a deep breath. " I know that if this was anyone else coming here with this kind of news, I'd be so freaked out right now there wouldn't be a safe bottle of booze on the entire campus. But this is Casey, Man."

Heath nodded as if that simply explained everything even though Cappie knew it really didn't. " Have you decided what you're going to do ?"

" The only thing I know for sure that we're doing is having a baby." Cappie chuckled and then stopped abruptly, coming to a complete stand still in mid step. Heath turned back to him when he realized the bigger man had stopped moving.

" Cap ?" He asked at seeing the expression on his face.

It was the first time he'd actually said it out loud. The first time he'd really understood what it all meant. A baby. He and Casey were going to have a baby. He realized his hands were suddenly shaking and he knew it had very little to do with alcohol this time.

He opened his mouth to speak, but nothing came out and he sank down heavily on the staircase instead when his knees threaten to give out from under him.

" Stay right here." Heath told him with a hand on his shoulder. " Don't move."

It hadn't occurred to him to move. He wasn't sure he was capable of it. His mind was too busy trying to process everything to have enough reserve to make him mobile.

He watched Heath take the few remaining steps two at a time, then dash off into the common room. He returned a few minutes later with Rusty in tow.

" He's having a little freak out, I think." Heath was telling the younger boy and Rusty was eying him suspiciously as he stepped gingerly towards him.

" Cap ?" Rusty asked, sitting down beside him on the step. " Are you okay ?"

Cappie took a deep breath, drawing as much clean, refreshing oxygen as he could into his lungs. Then he physically shook his head. " Yeah." He mumbled though there was no real infliction behind the word. " I'm okay."

" You don't look very okay." Rusty answered, resting a hand on his shoulder.

Heath was back now and thrusting a glass of water into his hand. Cappie took it and nodded in thanks before taking a huge drink.

" I'm having a baby." He muttered more to himself than anyone else.

" Yes, you are." Rusty told him.

" With Casey." He added.

" Looks that way." Rusty nodded again. His voice was still calm and even and controlled.

Heath was still standing over them both looking down at Cappie like he expected him to explode or implode or something any second.

" Heath, would you mind checking on dinner ? It should be just about done now." Rusty asked.

When he nodded and felt the staircase, Rusty cleared his throat. " So, want to talk about it ?"

Cappie shook his head. " I don't think there's much to talk about. It's a fact, a none deal."

" What are you going to do ?"

" We haven't talked about it yet. She's waiting on me upstairs so we can have that very conversation." He told him taking another drink of his water.

" Then why are you down here instead of up there ?"

" I needed to talk to you guys, all of you." Cappie answered, coming to his feet as he suddenly remembered why he was there. " Can you get everyone in the common room ?"

" They're already there." Rusty answered getting up as well. " Your dad is telling them stories."

" Tobias is still here ?" Cappie asked, " That's great. I have something to say to him as well."

" Your mother just called to say she's about an hour away."

They stepped off the staircase and turned into the common room to find everyone still living at the house sprawled over various pieces of furniture while Cappie's father regaled them with stories about living off the land and fighting the man and what not.

Cappie cleared his throat as he stepped into the room and all faces turned towards him as Wade and Beaver shifted to sit up from where they were laying across the couches.

" I'm glad you're all here. I have something I need to tell you." Cappie said, taking his father's place in the center of the room as Tobias took a seat next to Beaver.

Cappie paused long enough to wait for Rusty to return with Heath before he took a deep breath to begin again.

He looked around at all the faces that were looking towards him in expectation, the same faces that had confronted him in his room a few hours before. Dale and Calvin were sharing the loveseat in the corner of the room and Heath had moved to the arm of it, his hand resting behind Calvin's head. Rusty had joined Wade on one of the couches while Beaver and Tobias sat on the other. All his friends, all the people that he had shared so much of his last few years with were gathered around him, waiting for him to say whatever it was he needed to say and suddenly he was very nervous.

He cleared his throat again and ran his hand through his hair quickly.

" Let me start by saying thank you. I really appreciate the way you all stepped in earlier and made me see that there was a problem that needed fixing." He told them. " I see it now. And I want you to know that I'm taking care of it. The drinking, the binders, it's all over now. No more babysitting. No more taking care of me. The situation is under control." He assured them. A quiet murmur went through the room and more than one face looked back at him with doubt in their eyes. " That being said," he took a deep breath, " the other thing is, I'm leaving CRU."

Everyone sat up straighter in a collated, collective move that looked like it had been choreographed and Cappie tried to hide his smile at the reaction.

He held his hands out to stop them from all speaking at once. " I know it's a shock, but it's time for me to move on, gentleman. And I have every faith that when I leave here, my predecessor will pick up the torch and carry on the great name of Kappa Tau in my wake."

" Who ?" Beaver asked, suddenly interrupting him.

Cappie shrugged. " Well, I can't just name someone to take my place. There are elections and that sort of thing."

" Yeah, but we all know that the house will back whoever you choose. It's Kappa Tau tradition. The elections are more a formality than anything else." Heath interjected.

" Well, then, my first choice was you Beav, but since you're leaving, too. I guess that leaves me with Spitter."

Rusty got immediately to his feet. " Me ? You want me to take over as president ?"

Cappie smiled at him. " I can't think of anyone better suited for the job."

Rusty started to protest again, but Tobias interrupted him before he could get started and he sat back down instead.

" Where will you go ? What are you planning to do now ?" His father asked him.

Cappie took another deep breath and let it out slowly. " In light of recent circumstances that I am not at liberty to discuss, it looks like I'll be working with Uncle Rick." He answered. " I've been doing some calculating and I think all I need are a few more credits and I can leave here at the end of the fall semester with a degree in Sociology."

" A social worker, your mother will be so proud. " His father beamed at him like Cappie just told him we wanted to be the next president.

" Thanks." Cappie nodded at him, then turned back to everyone else. " Well, that's it. That's my speech. Mostly I just wanted to say, thank you all for being here the last few months. I know I've been a douche. But all that's behind me now. No more Mr. Douche guy."

He started out of the room to leave them to discuss his new revelation when he heard someone coming up behind him and he slowed his step so they could catch up. Wade slapped him on the back as he fell into step beside him.

His best friend when it all came down to it, Wade had been his right hand the entire time he'd been president of the fraternity. Cappie had depended on him more than he probably should have, expected more out of him than he deserved and losing him because of the Omega Ki's was a blow he still hadn't recovered from. He had always imagined that Wade would be the one taking over for him when he left. He was smart and resourceful and a capable leader.

" What's up, Man ?" Cappie asked.

" I'm just a little curious about what brought all this on." Wade told him as they started up the stairs together. " It wouldn't have anything to do with the fair damsel awaiting you in your room, would it ?"

Cappie cut his eyes towards his friend and smiled. " Maybe."

Wade stopped walking and squeezed Cappie's shoulder to make him stop as well. He turned and looked at the younger man with questioning eyes. " Is that not a good thing ?"

Wade took a deep breath. " I'm not sure. I've always known that you and Casey were..." He searched for the word he wanted to use, Cappie thought about giving him a hand when he finally spoke again,

" Inevitable. But I'm a little worried. Things have a habit of not working out between you and I don't want to see you go back down that road again. I'm afraid you'll kill yourself next time. You only get so many close calls, Cap. I think you've used all yours up in the last few months."

" It's different this time." Cappie tried to reassure him.

" How ? What makes this so different ?"

He hesitated, not wanting to say any more before he had a chance to talk to her about telling people. They hadn't even had time to discuss what was happening. He wasn't sure whether it would be okay with her if he told anyone else about the baby yet.

But the concerned look on Wade's normally jovial face left him with very little choice. " She's having a baby." He said in a quiet whisper so that no one could overhear them.

Wade stumbled back into the banister and shook his head. " Whoa !" he muttered. " Are you sure ? She's sure, I mean."

" Yeah, she's pretty certain." Cappie nodded at him.  
" And this is a good thing, right ?" He wanted to know.

Cappie chuckled. " With anyone else it would be the worse possible thing. But yeah, I think it's a good thing."

" Well then, go." He collected himself and gave Cappie a smile. " Go tend to your baby mama."

" I really appreciate how concerned you've been." Cappie told him. " I mean coming back here when you have your own things you need to deal with. Thanks, Man."

Wade shrugged. " Like the song says, Bro, Ain't no mountain high enough."

Casey's eyes were closed when he got back to the room, but they shot open the moment she heard the door close behind him.

" You're back." She smiled as she scooted over in the bed to give him room to join her.

" It looks that way." He returned her smile and immediately slid his arms around her the moment he was settled in next to her.

She pulled him down to her and kissed him, wrapping her arms around his neck and snuggling into his chest. Her tongue was playing against his lips and he opened them so she could slip it inside his mouth. After a moment he pulled away from her and rolled his eyes.

" Did I pass ?" He asked, knowing what she had just so sneakily done.

" I'm sorry." She said looking down at her lap. " I just needed to be sure."

He smiled and kissed her again. " It's okay. I understand, but like I already told you, I'm not drinking anymore. It's done."

Her fingers were playing in the hair at the base of his neck and he let himself relax into her, knowing that he deserved her mistrust.

" I want to believe you, I really do." She told him.

" It's okay, Case. I really do understand. I broke your trust." He told her. " I disappointed you and I'm telling you that I'm willing to do whatever it takes to get that trust back."

She blinked at him in surprise and he could see the tears starting to well up in her eyes again.

" Okay, stop. Wait." He told her with a snicker before kissing her once again. " Please don't cry again."

She slapped at his shoulder. " Stop saying things to make me."

" I'd have to stop talking completely. I have no idea what's going to set you off." He laughed.

" Me, either." She joined him.

" So what happens now ?" He asked, not wanting to get sidetracked again .

" Now, I have no idea." She answered sincerely.

" I'm taking my uncle up on his offer. Its a job. It'll pay. I can finish here with a degree in sociology by the end of next semester." He told her.

She sat up and folded her legs in front of her. " This is exactly what I didn't want to happen." She said, shaking her head.

" What ? What are you talking about ?"

" I didn't want to come here and make you completely change your life because of this."

" Why not ? Isn't that how it's supposed to work ?" He asked, sitting up beside her and taking her hands in his. " Your life is about to change completely. Why is mine any different ?"

" Ugh," She exclaimed and got up from the bed. He watched in disbelief as she snatched her jeans from the floor and struggled into them. Then she tossed his shirt over her head.

" Your life is different because it doesn't have to change." She tried to explain as she continued to get dressed.

He got up finally, not understanding what was happening but determined to make it stop.

" Where are you going ?" He asked, stopping her with a hand on her arm.

" Nowhere. I just felt like I needed to be dressed suddenly." She answered moving back to sit on the side of the bed.

He relaxed a little, but instead of coming to sit beside her, he took the office chair and sat in front of her.

" I'm not really seeing the difference here, Case. Of course our lives are going to change. We're having a baby. We need to make plans, figure out our future."

" I thought we agreed months ago that we didn't have a future." She told him and there was a tear rolling down her cheek.

" That was before." he answered, trying to take her hands again. But she pulled them out of his grasp quickly

" Before what ? Before you felt obligated to change everything about your life because of me ?"

" I don't feel obligated here. This is what I want to do." He argued.

" Was it what you wanted to do an hour ago before you knew about the baby ?" She continued and somehow he suddenly felt like she was baiting him, trying to trip him up and make him say something he didn't mean.

He took a deep breath, judging his next words carefully before saying anything out loud.

" My ten year plan didn't change just because we broke up, Casey." He told her in all honesty.

" What ten year plan ?"

" You asked me once right before Evan lavaliered you, where I wanted to be in ten years. Do you remember what I said ?"

She gave him a watery smile. " You said you wanted to be with me."

" I still do. Nothing about the last few months has changed that. Nothing in the last few years has changed that. Whenever I think about where my life is going, what I want in the future, a lot things about it change with the passing of the day, but the one thing that is a constant, has been a constant since the first time I saw you across the backyard, is that I want to be with you."

The tears were running full force now, down both cheeks and dropping off her jaw and onto her chest. She sniffled but managed to choke back a full fledged sob. " But we don't work, Cap. We can't ever manage to make this work for more than a fleeting moment in time. And while they are the best moments of my life, that's all they are, just moments."

He gave her a sad smile as he reached his thumb out to brush the tears from her cheek. " But isn't that exactly what life is made of, moments ?"

" I need more than moments now. I'm just not sure we can make it for the long haul." She told him.

" I love you. I know you still love me. What else do we need ?" He asked, trying to get through to her still. Trying to make her believe that they could make it work this time around. And it occurred to him that just a few hours before they were on opposites sides of this same conversation. Apparently neither of them knew what they wanted, or believed they could actually have what they wanted, at any rate. It was ridiculous, an endless cycle of her wanting him and him resisting, then him wanting her and her refusing. He had no idea how to make it stop.

" We've loved each other since the first time we saw each other. And yet in the four years since then, love hasn't been enough. Why would it be now ?"

He dropped his hand from her face and let it come to rest on her middle. She started at his touch and her eyes dropped to his hand.

" Because there's more to it than just us this time."

It was the wrong thing to say. She backed away from him abruptly and before he could respond she was at the door with her hand on the knob.

She turned back to him for a moment and shook her head violently. " I will not let this baby be the reason we're together. We can't make it work without it. And I won't put the burden of holding us together on its shoulders before its even born." She said with a fiery determination that startled him. "I'm sorry, Cappie. I want you in this baby's life. You are welcome to be with me every step of the way. You can be as involved or uninvolved as you want to be. But I'm not part of the deal, We aren't part of the deal and that's just something you're going to have to accept." She took another deep breath and opened the door, then she paused again. " When it comes right down to it, this isn't your problem."

Then she was gone.


	12. Chapter 12

He had no idea where he was when sleep finally left him more or less completely. He had been drifting in and out of a foggy kind of limbo for hours, not really sleeping, not really awake. His hands were shaking and when he tried to sit up and he really wished he hadn't made the attempt.

His stomach rolled and did a cartwheel as he move to the side of his bed. Everything was coming back to him now and he buried his face in his hands for a moment as the memories came crashing back at warp speed.

Casey, the baby. Casey leaving. The drinking, the not drinking. He remembered it all now. He dropped his foot to the floor beneath his bed and snatched it back up when it connected with something soft and moving.

A mess of curly brown hair poked up over the side of the bed and he blinked the sleep from his eyes quickly. " Cappie ?"

" Spitter, why are you sleeping on my floor ?" He asked, reaching for the lamp beside the bed.

Once the light illuminated the room, he found Rusty wasn't the only one laying about. Beaver was in the office chair, his head hanging over the back, mouth opened and snoring loud enough to wake the dead. He wondered why he hadn't heard that before. Wade was curled into a pathetic kind of fetal ball in front of his closet and, sitting up with his back against the bedroom door, glasses resting crookedly on his nose and his hands clasped together in his lap, was Dale.

" What the hell happened ? Was there a fire downstairs ? Why is everyone in here ?"

" We didn't want to leave you alone. We were afraid you'd start drinking again." Rusty tried to explain in a hushed whisper so he wouldn't wake anyone else.

" I appreciate the thought, Spitter, but I already told you all, I'm done with the drinking. I meant it. It's over."

" Just, you know, we saw Casey leave last night and you wouldn't tell us what happened, so we thought we'd hang out, just in case." He tried to explain.

" I'm fine." He repeated as he tried to get to his feet again. Rusty shifted to make the attempt easier and he stood from the bed, struggling not to get his feet tangled in the blankets under him.

Once he was upright, he really wished he wasn't. He felt dizzy and nauseous all at once and had to fight to keep the rolling of his stomach at bay.

" Are you alright ?" Rusty asked when he just stood there instead of moving on.

" I'm fine. Just a little dizzy. I guess I got up too fast."

His feet felt weighted as he moved them towards the door and it was a struggle to keep them on a forward trajectory.

He paused at the door, bending enough to tap Dale on the shoulder. " Excuse me, but is there a password or something, because I really need to pee."

Dale shifted and looked up at him as he adjusted his glasses. " Yes, there is a password." He told him matter-of-factually without missing a beat. " It's the Lord is my savior and I will not drink."

Cappie rolled his eyes as he huffed impatiently. " Fine, the Lord is my Savior and I will not drink. Now can I go to the bathroom ?"

He moved out of his way and Cappie stepped around him before opening the door.

Once outside, he paused, leaning against the wall right outside his door and took a deep breath. His stomach still protested, but he was almost positive he wasn't going to vomit. So things were looking a bit brighter as he straighten and started off again.

By the time he finished in the bathroom, everyone was up and about, having pulled themselves off his floor and out of his room.

The shower hadn't really helped him at all. He was hoping it would make him feel at least marginally better. But it hadn't and it was with slow, deliberate movements that he went about pulling on his favorite pair of worn jeans and a pink t-shirt that read, ' go ahead and laugh, this is your girlfriend's shirt'. Snatching up a blue plaid shirt from the desk, he shrugged it and his shoes on before leaving the room.

Downstairs there seemed to be movement everywhere. For a house so empty, there was nowhere that he went that didn't have someone around. Beaver and Wade were in the common room, playing a video game that involved plastic guns. His mother was in the kitchen. He almost went in there until he heard her voice. Then he backed away slowly, not sure he wanted to deal with her yet. His father and Rusty were playing pool and Calvin, Dale and Heath were in the dining room, having breakfast.

He thought about going back to his room. He could be alone there, maybe not for long, but for a minute at least. All this babysitting was getting to him.

He needed time. He needed to think. He needed to figure out what he was going to do about Casey and the baby. He had to get her back. If last night told him anything, it was that he was still so in love with her he couldn't see straight and if the last three years told him anything, it was that, that was never going to change.

Slipping quietly out the front door, he breathed a sigh of relief when it closed behind him.

Then he nearly went right back inside when he spied someone coming up the walk.

" What the hell do you want ?" He asked as Evan Chambers continued to stroll ever closer to him.

Evan kept his hands shoved in his pockets as he stopped right in front of him. " I came to check on you."

Cappie felt his hands ball into fists and the urge to strike the man who was once his best friend almost got the better of him.

" I don't need checking on, especially not by you." He said quickly. " So get lost."

" Has Casey talked to you ?" He continued as if Cappie said a word.

" Why ? What do you know about it ?" He demanded, feeling his anger spike just because Evan uttered her name.

" I know it all, man. And I know how hard this has to be for you. I'm here to see if you need anything. I'm making an effort." He answered as he squinted up at him.

Cappie felt his chest puff out in response. " You shouldn't have. You just wasted your time."  
" No," Evan shook his head. " I didn't. I was here. I made the offer and whether you admit it or not, that counts for something."

" Not enough." Cappie told him, in a low dangerous voice.

" Maybe not yet. But I'm going to keep trying and eventually it will be enough." Evan said before turning on his heel and starting back down the walk.

" I quit drinking." Cappie announced before he got very far. " So you can stop worrying about it. It's over and done."

Evan stopped and turned back to him. " I'm glad to hear that. I hope it sticks."

Cappie nodded. " It will."

" What about the thing with Casey ? What did she tell you ?" He asked, taking a step closer.

" I know about the baby if that's what you mean."

" It is. What are you going to do about it ?" Another step, this one bringing him almost in reaching distance.

" What do you mean ?" Cappie asked, shifting from foot to foot.

" Are you keeping it ?"

" Of course, we're keeping it. What else would we do ?"

" There are options. Adoption, for one." Evan offered.

" We can't do that. This is Casey and me and It's our baby. Of course we're keeping it." Cappie answered quickly.

Another step closer and he was right back where he started. " So does this mean you're back together ?"

Cappie sighed and sat down on the top step. Evan took the initiative and sat down beside him. " She says she's not part of the deal. She wants me there for the baby, but we aren't together and she doesn't want us to be. Then she told me this wasn't my problem."

" It's bullshit." Evan answered immediately. " Classic Casey defensive move."

" Yeah, that's kinda what I was thinking." Cappie answered. " But what can I do ? I mean she made herself pretty clear."

" What exactly happened ? What did you do, propose ?"

" I told her I'm leaving school after the fall semester. I'll have a master's in sociology by then."

" That's great, Man. I'm proud of you." Evan told him.

Cappie cut his eyes sideways. " We aren't there yet, Dude. Baby steps."

Evan nodded and pulled back some of his enthusiasm. " Alright, I'll take what I can get."

" Why ? Why do you care if I hate you ?" Cappie asked suddenly.

He didn't answer at first. Instead he let his gaze scan the yard for a few moments as if he needed the time to formulate an answer. " You're my best friend. You've been my best friend since we were five. I miss that. I didn't even realize how much until this last year."

" Maybe you should have considered that before you hung my brothers out to dry." Cappie answered.

" I know. I fucked up, again. I seem to have a knack for it. And I'm not promising I'll never fuck up again. I'm just saying I really want to be friends with you again."

Cappie shook his head. " I can't do that. We can't be like we used to be. Too much shit has gone down for that. I don't trust you."

" And you have no reason to." Evan admitted. " I stabbed you and your brothers in the back and I have no defense for it, accept to say that I was desperate to hold on to what I had in the house. I could feel it slipping away and I had to do something to keep it. I had no idea how hard they would come down on everyone though. I never expected that. If I had things would have been different."

They both fell silent as they sat and stared out at the yard in front of them.

" So," Evan finally said. " What are you going to do about Casey ?"

Cappie shook his head. " I'm going to be there. I'm going to keep being there until she can't push me away anymore."

Evan took a deep breath. " That's one way to go, I suppose."

" You have a better idea ? I can't force her to take me back and really I don't blame her. I'm not the most stable person in the world."

Evan turned to him and gave him a hesitant smile. " I know Casey. And I know you. So maybe I can be of some help here."

" How ?" Cappie asked, then paused. " No wait, first why ?"

" I want her to be happy and apparently you are what makes her that way. It's a proven fact. I've seen it over and over again. She wants you. You are what she needs. She won't admit it but it's true. She's just scared, just like you are."

Cappie nodded still not betraying any outward emotion, still guarding himself protectively. " Okay, I'll buy that, at least I'd like to think that's true. So how do you think you can help ?"

" You say you aren't the most stable person in the world, but you could be. You can be anything you want to be. If you want this whole thing bad enough, you can do whatever it takes. Is it what you want, what you really want ? Casey, a family ?"

He didn't answer at first. He wanted to. There was no other answer he could give, but he was trying to play it cool, to not come off looking like some lovesick, pansy. He was pretty sure he was failing miserably though. Of course he wanted her, he had wanted her since the day he met her. Everything about the last four years had been leading him to this point. Coming to college had been right for him. He thought that was because he was going to find his calling here, discover what he wanted to do with the rest of his life. And he had. It just hadn't been about academics for him. He was here because this is where Casey was. He was here because she was his purpose in life. Being with her was what he wanted to do with the rest of his life.

" Yeah, I figured that's what you'd say." Evan muttered with a little roll of his eyes.

" I didn't say anything." Cappie protested.

" You didn't have to. You still get that dopey, stoned look on your face every time you think about her, Man. I thought that would wear off eventually. But it still hasn't."

Cappie dropped his head and sighed. " I don't think it's ever going to wear off."

" Then we have to do something about it." Evan announced, standing. " We have to make her see that she wants you as much as you want her."

Cappie gave him a little laugh. " That's not our issue. Apparently, that's a given."

Evan scoffed. " I wasn't talking about that."

Cappie got to his feet as well. " You just don't understand." He got to his feet and took another deep breath. It was something he wanted to talk about. Something that was bothering him more than it normally would have. He was confused by her reaction, running so hot and cold towards him. But still he just wasn't sure where the line should be drawn when it came to sex talk with Evan. They both had a history with her and he didn't know whether it would be too much information for Evan to process.

But Evan just shrugged and if the subject gave him pause, he showed no outward sign of it. God, he envied that. To be able to get over her so completely. It was something he'd been struggling with for three years now.

" What ? What don't I understand ?" Evan asked, prompting him to continue and letting him know, once again, that it was an okay subject to bring up.

" Okay," Cappie rubbed his palms on his jeans and began to tell him about the night before. About her reaction to him. He tried leaving out as many details as he could, but it was hard to explain without them. She was just so wanton and desperate and demanding. Nothing like Casey usually was in bed. Then he explained about the crying fit and finally her complete turn around when it was all over.

" Sounds like a whole lot of hormones to me, Buddy. I'd say you've got another four or five months of it ahead of you. Can you handle it ?" Evan laughed.

" I can handle whatever I have to. Besides," He smirked. " It's not like it was all terrible."

Evan rolled his eyes and scoffed again. " Alright," He held up his hands to stop him from going any further. " When are you going to see her again ?"

" I have no idea. She just left last night. She said, this isn't really your problem and left." He told him.

" She's at the ZBZ house. She has to be, where else would she be staying ?"

Cappie nodded. " I came to the same conclusion. I was on my over there when you came up."

" Were you planning on stopping ? Or were you just going to stand outside and wait around until you chickened out and ran back home ?" He asked him point blank.

One of the things Cappie had always appreciated about his relationship with Evan was it's honesty. Evan had a way of knowing what he was going to do even when he wasn't sure yet. Maybe that came from being around someone so much, maybe it was just something Evan was really good at. He didn't know, but he missed it. Evan had always been the sane one between them and he liked his ability to call him out before he made a stupid decision.

Looking back, he realized now that, that was exactly what his friend had been trying to do after the end of the world party. He had been looking out for him and while he didn't like the results, the wasted time between him and Casey. He did like knowing there was someone around that was looking out for him, someone there to talk him down from the ledge before he tumbled over the side.

He looked down at his feet as he began to shuffle them and shoved his hands in the pockets of his jeans. " I was probably going to chicken out before I actually got to talk to her and run back home." He admitted reluctantly.

" But you aren't going to do that now, right ?" Evan prompted.

" No, I'm going to walk right up to the door and ring the bell before I have a chance to talk myself out it." Cappie confirmed, squaring his shoulders and adopting a determined look on his face.

" Do you want me to walk with you ?"

Cappie shook his head. " No, I got it. I need time to think about what I'm going to say to her when I do see her. But..." He paused, still not comfortable with the words that were trying to leave his mouth. "Thanks, Man. You really were a big help."

" Sometimes talking it out is all we really need. Besides, I didn't do anything really." Evan answered.

Cappie laughed. " Humble just looks weird on you." he teased.

" Yeah, well being a grown up looks weird on you." Evan shot back. " Good luck, Man. If you need me call, unless we aren't there yet either."

Cappie considered that and when he did, he realized more than anything he was just tired of hating him. He hadn't forgiven him. That would take more than a little time. But he wasn't willing to just outright hate him anymore.  
" No, I'll call and let you know what happens." He decided.

His answering smile was contagious and Cappie felt his resolve break as his own grin took over his face.

" See you around." Evan told him before taking off back down the walk.


	13. Author's note

Author's note : I just wanted to take a moment to tell everyone that I haven't stopped writing any of the stories that I'm currently working on. I'm not sure when I'll get the updates out, but they will be there. I'm dealing with a family emergency, an unexpected death is taking up all my time. But I will be updating again soon. Please be patient with me.


	14. Chapter 13

She was crying once again and she really had no idea why this time. Of course a part of it was having to leave Cappie the way she had. She hadn't meant to be cruel or unkind to him, but she had to make him understand. She couldn't live with herself if she knew he gave up everything he wanted just for her. She couldn't be responsible for that. She just couldn't.

For a time she thought about going back home. She wondered why she had come at all. It was a mistake. Letting him find out was a mistake. She should have known he would figure it out. No one knew her like he did. No one could read her like he could. Pair that with the fact that the only person she knew that was smarter than Cappie was her brother ( and that was saying a lot) and it was inevitable.

But the timing was all wrong. It was terrible and if finding out about the baby caused him to start drinking again, she'd never forgive herself for that either.

It was so impossible. She wanted him in her life. She wanted him in that baby's life. He was a part of all this, a big part and she was glad he knew.

Now the question was – what next ? Where did they go from here ?

She couldn't let him change his entire life just for her and the baby. She couldn't let him back in just because of the baby. She would not let this baby carry the burden of holding them together when without it that wouldn't have happened. It was too much to put on a set of shoulders that weren't even developed yet.

There was a soft knock at her door and she turned her eyes towards it and called a quiet, " Come in."

Rebecca Logan eased the door opened and stepped inside before closing it once again behind her.

" I saw your light still on." She told her from her position just inside the door.

Casey sat up in bed and shifted the blankets that covered her. Then she patted the place beside her and gave the younger brunette a smile. " I really appreciate you getting a room ready for Ash and I. It was nice of you." She told her after she tentatively took the spot Casey had indicated.

Her back was stiff as a board as she sat looking Casey over. " You're Welcome. But let's not let this whole nice thing get out. I have a rep to protect."

Casey laughed. " You're secret's safe with me." She assured her.

" You've been crying. Problems with Cap ?"

Casey swiped at her eyes with the back of her hand and sighed heavily. " Something like that."

" If he's mad about the whole intervention thing, he'll get over it." Rebecca assured her. " Once he realizes it was for his own good."

" He isn't mad about that. In fact he isn't mad at all. This is something different." She told her, not sure how much she wanted to confide in this girl that could run so hot and cold without a moment's notice. She was never very sure how far she could trust Rebecca.

" Are you back together ? Or were you back together ?" Rebecca continued to gently prod.

" For about an hour, I guess we were. Then everything went to hell again. Seems to be the story of our lives." She sighed again.

Rebecca sighed with her and uncrossed her arms which had been until that point carefully covering her chest in a clearly defensive move. " I know I'm not Ashleigh. And I know I haven't always been the most loyal on confidants. But I can see something is bothering you and since I know both you and Cappie pretty well, maybe I can help. Maybe together we can figure out how to change the story of your lives." She offered and it surprised Casey more than anything.

" It's complicated." Casey hedged, still hesitate about spilling the whole story.

" It's not that complicated. It's the same old story with the two of you. You're very different people who want very different things out of life, but the one thing you both can agree on is that you love each other." Rebecca smiled and tossed her long hair over her shoulder. " See not that complicated."

Casey smirked, yeah that pretty much summed it up. But there was more now. " Okay, so it isn't that complicated. Since you know so much, maybe you can give me a solution that we can both live with."

Rebecca chuckled. " I said the problem wasn't complicated. I didn't say the solution was so easy."

" Yeah, well it's a whole lot harder now. Cappie is leaving school at the end of the fall semester. He'll have enough credits to have a degree in sociology by then. He's taking a job at a halfway house that his uncle runs." Casey told her.

Rebecca brightened. " Well that uncomplicated things a lot. So why are you sitting here at two in the morning crying your eyes out. It's what you want, isn't it ? He's growing up, leaving school, becoming a real boy and all that."

" He isn't doing it for him. He's doing it for me. But there's more."

Rebecca raised her eyebrows and gave a wave with her hand in a gesture to encourage her to go on.

" I'm pregnant." Casey spat out quickly like ripping a band-aid off.

Rebecca's eyes widened for just a moment before her face took on it's normal stoic expression. " He didn't take it well when you told him ? You have told him ?"

" He decided all that after he found out about the baby. That's the problem." Casey muttered.

" So he found out you were pregnant and offered to get out of school and get a job and finally grow a set and this is the problem ?" Rebecca asked doubtfully. " He trying to do the right thing, that Bastard."

The tears were welling up again and Casey blinked rapidly to see around them. " I don't want him in my life because it's the right thing to do."

Rebecca laughed. " You think he offered to do all that because he feels obligated to do it ? You think that's the only reason ?"

Casey nodded and stopped fighting against the tears now.

" I hated you." Rebecca said after a few minutes of just watching her silently.

"I know when you first came here. But we're past all that now." Casey told her.

" No," Rebecca shook her head. " I didn't like you when I first came here. I didn't hate you, really hate you until much later. And even now I can't seem to stay away from your rejects." She told her with a tone of self loathing.

" I don't know what you're talking about." Casey admitted.

Rebecca got up and walked to the desk, then she retrieved a box of tissue and handed it to Casey. She nodded in thanks as she accepted it and pulled a few out to wipe at her eyes.

" Cappie was almost prefect. I could have really seen myself falling for him. He's funny and caring. He's got a heart the size of a small country and he'd do anything for the people he cares about. I've never had so much fun in my life. " She explained.

" You don't have to talk him up to me. I know all that. He's wonderful. That isn't the problem here." Casey told her.

" His one problem," Rebecca went on as if she hadn't spoken at all. " was that no matter how hard I tried I couldn't make him forget you." She came back and sat at the foot of the bed, more relaxed this time like she'd decided Casey wasn't going to bite her. " I realized after many months of pretending the problem didn't exist, that it wasn't going away. I hoped it would, but right till the very last, you were right there. I'm Rebecca freaking Logan, I don't play second chair to anyone, and yet here I was, always the consolation prize." Her eyes flashed for a moment and Casey thought she was getting angry. " I've never been the consolation prize before."

" I'm sorry." Casey mumbled because she had no idea what else to say to her.

Rebecca shrugged and suddenly all the angry was gone from her face. " It wasn't your fault. It wasn't his fault. It just was. He belongs to you, always will and if I couldn't break him away, I can't imagine anyone else has much of a chance either."

" He isn't mine. He's not a possession and I never meant for any of that to happen." Casey argued.

" I know you didn't and I'm not blaming you, not anymore. But he is yours. I knew that going in and I think maybe a part of me saw him as a challenge." She admitted and again it surprised her that the younger girl was being so open and honest with her. " I have a problem backing down from a challenge, you see."

" Yeah, I've noticed." Casey smirked.

" What I'm trying to say here is that whatever happens, whatever he does, he isn't just doing it because of the baby. You are meant to be together. Everyone else sees it, we just can't understand why the two of you can't see it, too."

" We broke up. He just gave me a long speech yesterday about how we couldn't be together. He didn't decide he wanted me back until he figured out about the baby." Casey explained.

" Cappie is Cappie. He's going to do what he has to do to keep from getting hurt. That isn't ever going to change."

Casey shifted uncomfortably and drew the blankets further up her body. " I can't have him looking at me in ten years and thinking about how I ruined his life."

" Cappie is never going to feel like you ruined his life." Rebecca assured her. " I mean, okay the timing here isn't perfect, but the outcome was inevitable."

" I guess we'll never know for sure now. The baby will always be a part of the equation for now on. I'll never know if he wants to be in my life because of me or whether it's because of the baby."

" He's been in love with you for four years." Rebecca said, " How much more proof do you need that he loves you ? You kicked him in the teeth over and over again, and yet there he was, so in love with you he couldn't even let himself be happy with me."

Casey nodded again. " Sometimes love just isn't enough."

Rebecca shrugged made a noise that sounded suspiciously like a grunt. " That's true. Sometimes it isn't, but maybe this time it is." She got up and started for the door, when she got there she turned and gave Casey another look. " Maybe it's time for you to start worry about today and let tomorrow work itself out. Cappie isn't the kind of man that's going to make himself miserable for someone else's sake. If he didn't really want to do all this, he would have come up with a different solution."

" Maybe you're right. I'll think about it." Casey told her.

" Do you have plans for tomorrow ?"

" Heath got me an appointment with a doctor for tomorrow morning. But I have nothing after that, why ?" Casey answered.

" I thought maybe we could hang out, go shopping or something. I could go in and try on all the clothes you'll soon be too fat to wear." She offered.

" Oh, that does sound like fun." Casey mocked.

Rebecca shrugged, " I'm always happy to spend quality time with my Big Sis." She called over her shoulder before shutting the door.

Casey flipped off the light and laid back down, sure that she was never going to get to sleep now that she had so much to think about. But the minute her head hit the pillow, she was out.

Cappie glanced up at the sound of paper crinkling. Casey looked back at him as she shifted nervously on the exam table.

" Just relax." He told her. " Heath says this won't hurt a bit."

" Really ? Exactly when was Heath's last pelvic exam ?" She retorted sarcastically.

Cappie got up from his chair in the corner of the exam room and crossed to her in three easy steps, it was a very small room. " Would you feel better if I let the doctor exam me, too ?" He offered.

Casey glanced to her at the evil looking instruments lined up on a tray. " Only if you're willing to let them use the exact same instruments on you as they plan to use on me." She informed him.

Cappie looked at the tray and blanched slightly. They were pretty wicked looking devises lined up in a neat little role, the stainless steel glinting back at him mockingly. " Maybe I could just wait outside ?"

" I already told you once you didn't have to come with me today. It's just a routine exam."

Cappie shook his head stubbornly. " I said I wanted to be here for every part of this and I meant it. You don't have to do this alone, Case. I'm right here and I'm not going anywhere."

They both turned their heads towards the door as a middle aged woman dressed in scrubs entered the room.

" Miss Cartwright, I'm Dr. Turner." She came into the room and moved to a small desk set in the wall in the opposite corner from Cappie's chair. There she sat down the folder she had been pursuing and looked up at them. " How have you been feeling ?"

" A little tired and nauseous." Casey told her.

" That's pretty normal at this stage." The doctor told her. Then she looked up at Cappie. " Are you the father ?"

Cappie blinked at her for a moment. " Yeah, I'm Cappie."

She took his hand and shook it with a laugh. " That lost, deer in the headlights look is pretty normal, too. But just like the nausea, it'll pass eventually." She turned her attention back to Casey and Cappie took the opportunity to get back to his chair in the corner. " I'm thinking you're probably about seventeen weeks along. Of course we can't be absolutely sure about that until we do a sonogram. Today we're going to start with a routine exam and some blood work."

An hour later they were sitting at a table in the outdoor cafe close to the campus. The wrought iron chair dug into his leg while the rough stone of the table top scrap against his elbows, yet he couldn't remember the last time he'd been so content.

Casey, for her part was leaned forward on the opposite side of the table scarfing down the ridiculously huge banana sundae she'd order. He in turn was sipping quietly on his chocolate milkshake.

" Thank you for this." She smiled up at him, " but it really wasn't necessary."

He smiled back at her. " Spitter said you're parents always took you out for ice cream after going to the doctor. I only know that because I had to bring him here after he sprained his ankle a few months ago."

" They did." She nodded. " But I'm a grown up now. I don't require ice cream after doctor's visits anymore."

He almost flinched at her words, wondering if they might have been a dig. Seemed every time she mentioned anything about getting older or growing up it felt like a dig.

" You know being a grown up doesn't mean you have to give up everything that made you happy as a child." He told her, cautiously keeping his voice neutral.

" But you do have to give up some of them." She answered.

He sighed, feeling anger start to get the better of him. " That is exactly why I'm leaving school. It isn't just about the baby, Case. I love you. I want to be with you."

" Amazing how this was a very different conversation before you know there was a baby." She retorted.

He threw his hands up in defeat. " And here I thought we were about to have a very pleasant afternoon."

" Yeah, me too." She replied, tossing her spoon down and getting to her feet. " Maybe you should just take me home."

" Yeah, no problem." He joined her and started off towards the car.

They rode in silence most of the way back to the campus and the ZBZ house. Until Cappie couldn't take it anymore.

" Classes will be starting in a few weeks. Have you decided what you're going to do ?" He asked her tentatively.

She shook her head and let the arms that were crossed over her chest relax a bit. " No, I haven't really thought about it. I guess I'll go back to Chicago."

" I was afraid that's what you were going to say." He mumbled.

" Well I can't stay here. I'm not a ZBZ. This isn't my world anymore." She said, glancing out the window at the campus passing by them.

" I need to get my degree before I leave. Otherwise all this time I've been here will have been wasted." He replied.

" I know and I'm not asking you to come. I'll be fine. I'll stay with my parents. They'll take care of me."

" And I'll miss all of it." He muttered.

" I guess so." She answered. " But I'll send you pictures and keep you updated if that's what you really want."

He stopped the car in front of her house and turned in his seat. " I already told you I want to be a part of this. Pictures and phone calls aren't being a part of it."

" Do you have a better plan ?" She asked, raising her hand to the door handle.

" I guess not." He told her as she got out of the jeep.

" I'll see you in two weeks for the sonogram." She said before closing the door and walking up the front walk to the house.

He watched her go, his mind reeling as he searched for answered. He couldn't let her go. He knew that for sure. Now all he needed to do was convince her of that.


End file.
